WE WERE ON A BREAAAK!!!!!!!!

Okay, so nothing like taking seven months off! (Or more for some of us!) I know that life sometimes gets in the way, but seven fucking months! REALLY?!?!?

Yes, we are totally ashamed of ourselves. But hey, we still live in a basement in our parents' houses. Do you think were more ashamed to have ignored our fans (all half dozen or so of you) for the past several months compared to living with our parents? HAH!

Not sure about the rest of the gang, but I guess we have let the fucktards of the sports world get away with too much and it is time for LomHenn.com to put its proverbial foot down!

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A lot has happened since our last post in February. The Butler Bulldogs went to the Championship game in the Final FourTM for the second straight year. (Well done!) Dan Wheldon won the Indy 500. Tiger Woods came back...sucked...left again...came back...still sucked...missed the PGA fall playoffs. Cardinals did a mid-summer "flan in the cupboard" impression. The NFL lockout came to end just in time. The NBA lockout will most likely not end in time...no real loss there, in my opinion. And Bob Kravitz is still writing for the Indy Star...sadly. At least he is still not on the radio!

And now the NFL regular season has finally started. WOOOHOOOO! And to make things real interesting for Colts fans, Peyton Manning will miss at least a majority of the season. Not the way I really wanted to liven up this season! It has been interesting to see and hear the various pundits call for the demise of the Colts without #18. True, the Colts are not as good offensively without Peyton, but they still have several Pro Bowl players on the team. One game does not a season make!

So no guarantees that we will not have another seven month gap in our posts, but with football season on the go, I'm pretty sure we can scratch up a few posts here and there.

Feel free to send us an email and tell us we suck!

It's All About the Benjamins

One of the big topics of discussion in the coming weeks will be the likely expansion of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. Vito Forlenza thinks that if the NCAA wants to be so greedy, then they need to pay the players who are making them all of this money. I think he's a ginormous fucktard, but that may just be me.

NCAA Needs to Show Players the Money

Let's talk about money.

Personally I’d prefer to talk about sex, but since this is your article and you brought it up, we can talk about money.

After all, it's the only thing NCAA officials can think about. Well, they're not exactly putting it that way. They're framing it as expansion of the NCAA tournament.

The NCAA is going to give many reasons for desiring to expand the Men’s tournament to 96 teams. Money is obviously the biggest and I have not really heard anyone shy away from that fact.

But don't be fooled. The NCAA is threatening to add 32 teams to the Big Dance because it thinks it can make more money. That's it and nothing more. Money is not the underlying factor that has the NCAA mulling expansion. It's the only factor.

First of all, fucktard, they are threatening to add 31 teams. Let me try and explain this so your small brain can comprehend this without exploding. If there are currently 65 teams that make the tournament each year and you want to expand to 96 teams, 96 minus 65 equals 31. I have not seen anything anywhere stating the NCAA wants to expand to 97 teams. You’ve pretty much lost all integrity by your little oversight. Plus, shitcan the editor, if there is one, who did not catch this before it was released.

You didn't really think it was about giving more kids the opportunity to experience the thrill of the tournament, did you?

No. I know several coaches that would like to make the tournament every year to give them some additional job security. If a coach does not make the tournament every so many years, they are generally shown the door. Adding 31 teams gives coaches some additional chances every year.

It's all about money. So let's talk about money. And let's finally get serious about giving players their fair share of the mountains of cash the NCAA rakes in.

I would say money is probably 80-90% of the reason. The other 10% I would attribute to the coaches wanting a better chance of making the tournament and the kids having the opportunity as well.

The NCAA can opt out of its current 11-year, $6 billion TV deal with CBS after the Final Four and begin shopping around the tournament broadcast rights this summer. It expects suitors to wage a fierce and expensive battle over this lucrative piece of Americana. The negotiations could potentially lead to unconventional bids and partnerships among network and cable sports broadcasters.

The NCAA has already requested proposals from the networks in regards to the new bidding process should the NCAA opt-out of the current contract. Adding another week, an additional 16 games to the current format, could result in a few billion extra dollars. Whether or not CBS can maintain its stranglehold on the tournament will be hard to tell.

Despite making a ton of money with the current format, the NCAA wants more. And apparently, the yet-to-be-determined sum from a new TV contract is not enough to satisfy its greedy appetite. Before heading to the negotiating table, the NCAA is prepping to sweeten the deal by expanding the field to a whopping 96 teams.

Yep. Is that necessarily wrong? I can’t really say no to that. While I have to say I enjoy the current format and was definitely against it when talk of the expansion began, I can definitely see good and bad points to expansion (hopefully another entry on that topic will be coming soon!).

Disgusting, I know. But not only because it's going to ruin the country's best sporting event.

You know, people said the same things when the NCAA expanded the tournament to include 64 teams in the 80’s. While I do not enjoy the fact that the Selection Committee will no doubt add a tenth Big East team to the tournament over a more deserving second or third mid-major conference team, adding another round of 16 games between teams of more equal caliber could lead to some exciting games. Change is not always bad, Vito.

What frustrates me even more is the NCAA's hypocritical, blatant and reckless exploitation of the players. The current set-up is bad enough. Still, it wants to squeeze even more cash out of the cash-strapped kids.

I hate that fucking analogy. I’m not sure what portion of basketball players are “cash-strapped”, but you will not squeeze more cash from the players. If you are going to gripe about how the NCAA exploits basketball players, then you better be griping about how they exploit the football players as well. I have not seen anything regarding them in here yet.

So go ahead, NCAA. Expand your tournament. Grab your billions of dollars. But pay your players.

They are paid you fucktard. They get an education in exchange for reaping their college some major bucks to fund the rest of the athletics at their school. They get free room and board. If you want to bitch about players needing cash, then bash the NCAA for allowing players to have more ability to work while in school. If you are going to pay basketball players, then how can you not pay the soccer players or hockey players or the underwater basket weavers? Yes, the basketball and football programs bring in the monies to help fund all of the other programs. But how can you can you justify paying only some of the sporting teams?

A radical change to college sports' highest-profile event requires a radical change to the overall structure. Stop the charade and float some cash to the kids.

Do you think Shaq got rich in Orlando? No, he got rich in college!

Because if you expand this tournament and make these kids play half an NBA season, all this talk about getting an education, upholding the integrity of the intercollegiate athletics and playing for the glory of Dear Old State will morph into lip service. And make no mistake, we're poking at that threshold now. One-and-done players, academic scandals and kickbacks to high school coaches already cloud college basketball's culture.

You are adding one game to the current tournament format. ONE FUCKING GAME, DICKHEAD!

One-and-done players are not the NCAA’s fault. I don’t think the NCAA went to the NBA and asked them to install the one year of college rule in order to get more NBA caliber players to go to college instead of straight to the NBA. The NCAA does gain some benefits from these players, but they tend to harm the schools more unless they can make it to the Final Four or win it all.

Academic scandals and kickbacks have been present for decades in all sports so don’t try and blame those on a single sport’s tournament. Douchebag!

Now the NCAA wants to expand the tournament, add another week to the season and pull these kids out of even more classes? Unless it's all a ruse, how can the NCAA approve this proposal and pretend to uphold its core values? How can it believe it's still looking out for the best interests of the kids? And - oh, don't get me started -- how can it extend the basketball season, but claim a football playoff is impossible because the players will miss too much class time?

One, adding a football playoff would require adding more than one week to the football season. Two, you are only modifying the existing basketball tournament versus modifying the current football bowl structure. The BCS conferences, bowls and bowl sponsors do not want that cash cow to go away and no one has come up with a good solution to satisfy everyone…yet. Class time might be their excuse, but this is definitely one where the money going to the BCS conferences is dictating the stance against a football playoff.

The only way the NCAA can even think about expanding the tournament while maintaining a sliver of dignity and curtailing corruption is by paying the players. I'm not suggesting millions of dollars. I'm advocating a flat stipend allocated across the board -- in both men's basketball and football.

OK, now you finally mention football.

Of the money that currently goes to the conferences and teams, I’m sure that there is not enough there to pay players and paying for the other sports at schools. At most schools, those monies do not even cover the cost of the other sports as it is! Now you think they should pay the players too?

Some of the money schools make from men's basketball and football supports the non-revenue sports like soccer, lacrosse, hockey, wrestling, swimming and gymnastics. If the big-revenue sports are able to subsidize their smaller-revenue brethren, that’s a great use of the money. But the actual people responsible for making all that money - players - must benefit from it, too.

See my response above.

To make it happen, an independent body needs to be brought in to study all the different revenue streams from men's basketball and football - from TV rights and gate receipts to sponsorships and jersey sales. Then, it would determine a fair athletic grant that changes on a yearly basis to keep up with the money the NCAA, conferences and schools are taking in.

If there are 344 NCAA Division I teams that are eligible for the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament and 12 players per team, that works out to be 4,128 players. How much money are you proposing? $500 per month? At $500 per month for 9 months per year (assumes they do not get paid during the summer months) that would equal $18,576,000 per year. Granted, that is a drop in the bucket of the billions the NCAA receives from CBS. But what about football? Granted, there are only 119 Division I BCS schools, but if the average team has 60 players, that is another $32 million. Over 10 years you are talking over $500 million dollars. I don’t think the NCAA is willing to part with that much to pay players that are already receiving scholarships plus room and board.

Please, please, please don't tell me that college athletes are getting enough from a free education and room and board. That doesn't mean a thing if their parents back home can't pay the rent. That need inevitably leads to cheating, whether in the form of side deals with agents, extra benefits from boosters, stuffed envelopes from well-off alums or some combination of all three. When the kids aren't seeing a penny of the millions they know they're generating, it's hard to fault them for accepting something under the table.

So, do you expect an athlete will take the $500 a month stipend and sent it to his parents so they can make their rent? Get real.

Dude, this is not the 80’s where the stuffed envelopes, free cars and police looked the other way. Universities and coaches have staff that enforce that this does not happen, because when they get caught, it will not only cost them their jobs, it affects the players, the university and the conference. Granted, it still does happen but most of these coaches have probably already left before the shit hits the fan.

These kids are already getting between $5,000 and $100,000 in free tuition per year plus a place to stay and free food. Just to play basketball or football. Something they obvious love to do. Some in the hopes to make it to the pros, others just for the love of the game. For every student athlete that come from a poor family scrapping to get by, how many come from a Carmel or a Cathedral-type school?

If you think the payola is at a high point now, just wait until the NCAA arms all the agents, boosters and alumni with new ammunition of an expanded tournament. It'll be that much easier to convince these kids that everyone in the Ivory Tower is taking advantage of them.

Again…ONE FUCKING ROUND OF GAMES IS NOT GOING TO MAKE THAT BIG OF A FUCKING DIFFERENCE TO THE PLAYERS!!!!!!!!!! The NCAA will get more revenue and that revenue makes it to the conferences and schools. I’d rather a school have the ability to offer lacrosse or underwater basket weaving than pay student athletes.

The NCAA and its member conferences and schools have gotten away with hoarding all the money for far too long, while the players have been left with empty pockets. It's time to pay up.

Go crawl back into your little hole, Vito. Like it or not, change is going to happen. If not this year, the seed has been planted and we’re all going along for the ride, like it or not.

Just the Facts, Ma'am

Holy shit! Two posts in two days!

I hate when life gets in the way. I've had many ideas over the past few months that I really wanted to write about, I just have not had the time and opportunity to do it. Hopefully, with the change of seasons will come a change in my ability to actually post.

Today's post brings us back to our favorite whipping-boy, Bobby Kravitz. Bob's article today was on Butler's victory last night in the championship game of the Horizon League and how they deserve a higher seeding than the NCAA Selection Committee has typically given them the past few years.

The article itself is really not that bad. It is just that Bob's laziness has once again crept into his work. One of the first rules of journalism is to check the facts. Bob has a repetitive glitch in his system that seems to prevent him from either looking up or reviewing facts in his articles.

Today's example:

They have the country's best road record 12-0 (1-2 on neutral courts).

Butler is now 28-4 on the season. They went undefeated at home going 15-0 for the season. Let's do the math Bob-style, shall we?

Home 15-0

Away 12-0

Neutral 1-2

Total 28-2

So, Bob, where did the other two losses come from?

And Bob, didn't Butler lose to UAB on the road?!? Forgot that one, huh? I think everyone who follows basketball in Indiana could have told you that.

Fucktard!

I might have been able to forgive the missing neutral court loss. That could have been from a typo. Except, again, simple math should have told you that if a teams has four losses, you should account for all of those losses!

How FUCKING hard is it to pull up the Butler page on ESPN.com to verify your information? It took me all of 20 seconds to find Butler's schedule on ESPN.com. I could immediately tell you that they went 15-0 at home, 12-1 on the road and 1-3 on neutral courts.

Double Fucking Lazy Fuckatard!!!!

Get off your GD ass, open a browser and actually look something up for a change, will ya!

Come on, Streebeck. Let's go track down some more villainous writers...

It Still Might As Well Be In Black And White

Let me see if I get this straight.

ESPN spends $1000000000000000000000000000 covering every sport. They send 34 air personalities to do the pregame of "Monday Night Football." They have been on the cutting edge of sports broadcasting technology for a long time.

Yet--a college basketball conference championship game involving a top-12 team is not worthy of broadcasting in HD. Not that this is a new issue, but seriously? In 2010? I mean, I'm not talking about ESPN-8, "The Ocho," but the main fucking channel. The big one.

For the love of fuck, the commercials are even in HD, just not the game. Thank you, ESPN, for confirming that you have as little respect for the mid-major conferences as the NCAA selection committee.

(Of course, ESPN touts "Championship Week" and hypes having all the conference tournament games, but only shows BCS-conference games in HD.)

Fucktards.

And yes, we will be back soon. We haven't given up on you yet.

Set Phasers to 'Stun', Not the Headline

Sadly, the Butler Bulldogs were unable to win the Horizon League Conference Tournament and lost a close game to Cleveland State 57-54 last night. We all know this is a wonderful and busy time of year for college basketball fans and sports writers. However, this is what evidently happens when someone gets assigned a story that has not done any background research and is writing the story to meet their deadline. I do not have a problem with the article, just the headline.

Cleveland State stuns No. 17 Butler for Horizon title

OK, I am willing to accept the fact that the Vikings upset Butler since the Bulldogs were ranked 17th and Cleveland State is not. However, if this lazy fucktard, how must be a relative or previous understudy of Bob Kravitz, should have looked at the previous meetings this year. He would have realized that Butler won both games by a combined four points. The first game was won on a last second shot by Gordon Heyward and Butler had to hang on by a thread to win the second at home. Therefore, it should not have been a surprise that the Vikings gave up quite a fight and won the game. They were not the #8 seed. Cleveland State was the #3 seed in the tournament. Cleveland State was the pre-season pick to win the league, Butler was picked to finish fifth. Hence, no stunning or surprising here.

Dude (or Dudette, as the author is not listed as it is an AP story), take two fucking minutes to do some research on the Internet, flip through the game program, look it up on your cell phone or even ask a Butler fan near you could have filled you in on the matchups that occurred this season. Everyone else who was a Butler fan at Hinkle may have been sad about the loss, but they were definitely not stunned!

Congratulations to the Cleveland State Vikings. Hopefully they can work another first round upset like their last trip to the Dance in 1986. Remember 1986, when they were a #14 seed and upset the #3 Indiana Hoosiers? Luckily, Butler has a good enough resume to still get into the dance, but there seeding with take it a hit with the loss. I just hope the NCAA Slection Committee at least gives them a seeding where they have a chance to make it to the second weekend and possibly in the Midwest bracket where they would play in Indy. Wait, they tend to be fucktards as well, so they will probably be an #8 seed and be shipped out west. I'll save my rant against the Selection Committee and it's failure to acknowledge the mid-majors for next week.

Might As Well Be Black & White

ESPN, you are the deuce!

And by "deuce" we mean a good ol' #2. You are not da' bomb, you are a giant stinking piece of shit!

I get that economy is a giant shit-burger right now, but the cable companies and subscribers are paying you to provide HD content for YOUR HD channels. So why the fuck am I watching men's and women's basketball conference championships on ESPN HD and ESPN2 HD in standard definition you cheap, ass-munching fucktards!

As Slut mentioned in a previous entry, this is not the first time ESPN has done this. I am willing to suffer through a SD broadcast for a Horizon League regular season game. I am definitely not thrilled about it and I still would like to bust your balls over it, but I will tolerate it. I am not willing to tolerate it for the conference tournaments and especially a conference championship game. Granted, I do not know what the cost is to broadcast an event in SD versus HD. I am sure that the cost for an HD broadcast is more expensive, but I do not think it is that much more to justify not broadcasting it in HD. ESPN owes the viewers (literally) an HD broadcast on THEIR HD channel.

I scanned the ESPN schedule and as much as I would like to say I am shocked, amazingly the only conference tournament games that will be in HD are from the BCS conferences. So the Big Ten, Pac-10, Big East, ACC, Big 12 and SEC tournament games are all in HD. Every other mid-major and smaller conferences are left to suffer in SD.

Not only do I think that sucks, it pisses me off. As much as I would like to grab my pitchfork and torch and march on Bristol, we all know it would not do much good. It basically sucks that millions of us get to pay for SD on HD.

Fucktards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Indiana Won the NCAA Tournament In 1987, So They Should Be In This Year

It's an exciting time for college basketball right now, with all of the conference tournaments this week. For many, this is as exciting or even more exciting than the actual NCAA Tournament, which begins next week.

Nothing like a fetid pile of feces courtesy of Gregg Doyel to ruin all of the fun.

Pssst, selection committee: In case of Davidson, break rule

The NCAA tournament selection committee needs my help. That's one of the things I learned during a mock selection exercise last week at the NCAA offices in Indianapolis. The selection committee needs my help.

They do? I would imagine they have plenty of people on the committee.

Not a lot of my help. The committee is hooked up better than I dreamed. Even before arriving for the annual media exercise, which in Year 3 finally got around to inviting me, I knew the committee had access to reams of stats and notes and updated information. What I didn't know was the level of electronic sophistication it had reached. The Internet search engines designed specifically for the committee. The high-speed voting they do online for each team, each seed, each little line in the bracket. Electronically speaking, and this is a little bit humbling considering my place of employment, the selection committee is more hooked up than I am.

Dude, you work for CBSSports.com, not ARPANET or SkyNet. I'm sure what you have access to is great, but the NCAA has been doing this for quite some time now. And since it's for a specialized purpose (i.e. selection of the NCAA basketball tournament field), it's not too hard to come up with specialized software.

And I hope you're kidding about the NCAA "finally getting around to inviting" you. I know you work for CBS, which thinks it runs the NCAA Tournament, but I'll just assume you were kidding.

But the selection needs my help nonetheless.
It needs my help with Davidson.

Oh? Really? Do you have SSS (super-specific-software) about Davidson that no one else could have? I'm guessing not.

See, I know what the selection committee knows. I know what information the committee will consider, and what information the committee will ignore. So I know the committee will be instructed to ignore one of the most vital pieces of information available.

Maybe Doyel has a scoop here: what vital piece of information could the NCAA Tournament Committee be ignoring? What a huge story--that the committee will knowingly ignore vital information about a mid-major school. What a conspiracy! It's a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma!

The committee will be instructed to ignore last season.
When Davidson reached the Elite Eight.

Oh. Never mind--it's just stupidity.

It didn't happen, as far as the 2009 selection committee is concerned. Davidson, which is perched dangerously on the bubble unless it wins the Southern Conference tournament, didn't reach the Elite Eight in 2008. Didn't beat Gonzaga in the first round, Georgetown in the second, Wisconsin in the Sweet 16. Didn't almost beat eventual national champion Kansas in the Elite Eight.

Actually, Davidson did do those things, and it was wonderful. How exciting would it have been for Davidson to reach the Final Four? Even so, Davidson again showed how mid-majors should be better considered for the NCAA Tournament than they have been.

Didn't happen, selection committee. Don't consider it. That's a guideline, and not just an implied guideline. So it is written, in the inch-thick folder given to every selection committee member upon arrival in Indianapolis:

Materials not influential:

Performance by a team in a previous NCAA Tournament.

To which I say: You must be joking.

To which I say: you are a Fucktard. Why would last year's performance be a consideration for this year's tournament?

Last year happened. Last year was real.

Yes, I already said that.

And while college teams do change from year to year, Davidson didn't change that much. The Wildcats return three starters from their 2008 Elite Eight team, and they return 10 of their top 13 scorers

Good for them. They should have been very good this year, with a successful team returning so many players. Making the NCAA Tournament really shouldn't be a problem.

Those numbers are all well and good, but in reality, this is all the selection committee needs to know:Stephen Curry is back. And so is Bob McKillop.

Okay...their best player and their coach is back. See above.

Curry was the humble star who put Davidson on his back and damn near carried his team into the Final Four. He had one of the most prolific four-game scoring totals in NCAA tournament history, and he's a better player this season. McKillop, meanwhile, is the coach who made it happen. Designed the offense to free up the heavily guarded Curry. Designed the defense to stop Davidson's bigger opponents. Gave his team the confidence and toughness to believe it could do things logic said couldn't be done.

But as far as the 2009 selection committee is concerned, none of it happened. None of it can be considered. When the committee convenes next month, Davidson -- which has lost two consecutive games -- will clearly be on the far side of the bubble with its CBSSports.com RPI of 54. Davidson would be behind, presumably, Michigan (No. 48 RPI), Miami (49), Cincinnati (50), Boston College (51), Creighton (52) and Baylor (53)...

This article is a bit old, so I'll update: Davidson is 25-7, but its CBSSports.com RPI is now 73. This is a team that likely needs to win its conference tournament to get in.

Which would be a travesty. None of those schools has done a damn thing in the NCAA tournament in years.

And that has what exactly to do with this year's tournament? Oh, yeah--nothing!

The primary duty of the committee, if I'm not mistaken, is to put together the strongest NCAA tournament field possible. With that as the most important guideline, this Davidson team -- one year after that Elite Eight run -- gets in. Simple as that.

The RPI and the strength of schedule and any other bullcrap statistic the committee considers won't take into consideration this: Davidson did it last year, and its most important pieces -- the star and the coach -- are back.

Yeah, RPI is a "bullcrap statistic." All it does is try to rate teams objectively based on strength of schedule, wins over quality opponents, etc. Objective measures are bullcrap, man!! Let's use stuff that has nothing to do with this year instead, like last year's performance or the number of players with size 12 1/2 shoes. Fuck yeah!

This isn't even a Davidson argument. This is a common sense argument. Three years ago, underdog George Mason reached the Final Four. If the Patriots had entered the 2007 selection phase on the bubble (they didn't), and then been left out without the committee even considering their Final Four run from 12 months earlier, that would have been imbecilic bordering on irresponsible. Whoever the darling is this year -- and there will be a Davidson-like darling this year -- that team will deserve this same consideration if it's on the bubble in 2010.

So let me get this straight--you're saying that if a team is on the bubble (which at the time Doyel wrote the article Davidson was), if it had a good performance in last year's tournament, it should be automatically included in this year's tournament, even if its not as deserving as another school based on this year's performance?

This makes absolutely no sense. As you said already, the job of the selection committee is to put together the "strongest NCAA tournament field possible." How would rewarding a team for last year's performance accomplish that?

This is common sense, people. Let's assume Davidson doesn't win the SoCon tournament. Upsets happen, so let's assume one happens to Davidson. Even so, Davidson already has played its way onto the 2009 NCAA tournament bubble. This isn't a below-average team needing a sentimental gift from the selection committee. This is a team that has earned its way onto the bubble thanks to its 2008-09 victory total and its RPI.

And from the bubble, Davidson played its way into the 2009 field by nearly playing its way into the 2008 Final Four.

Yes, Davidson has played its way onto the bubble--not into the tournament. Playing its way onto the "bubble" just means Davidson should be considered. Lots of teams are on the proverbial "bubble." How will the selection committee decide who gets in and who doesn't? By using objective measures such as RPI and strength of schedule.

Look, I love mid-majors. I want to see Davidson get into the tournament. And I would agree that it's a legitimate criticism to say that the NCAA often rewards big conference schools over small conference ones. The fact that there was legitimate discussion about the Big East possibly getting 10 teams into this year's field shows how ridiculous this can be.

And I'd say it's a valid complaint that the RPI favors big conferences. It's been well documented the troubles mid-majors have had scheduling schools from big conferences. Since teams like Davidson, Butler, or Gonzaga play in weaker conferences, their strength-of-schedule suffers because of the conference games. Since schedule strength is a factor in RPI, this gives the big conferences an advantage in RPI.

But you can't use last year's performance as a criterion! And even if you did, you'd have to apply it to everyone. What happens if you have two teams left on the bubble that both performed well last season? Do you go back two years? Five?

Why stop there? Why not reward teams for all-time performance? Indiana has five national championships. Of course IU is having a dreadful season this year, but shouldn't its history of providing exciting and memorable tournament performances be taken into account?

How about Loyola Marymount? CBSSports.com RPI is 319. But remember Bo Kimble and the 1990 Loyola Marymount team that got to the Elite 8, losing to UNLV? The team that dedicated its tournament to fallen teammate Hank Gathers? Why not reward them?

What about Indiana State? Their CBSSports.com RPI is a whopping 200. But remember Larry Bird carrying ISU to the final game against Michigan State? If ISU gets in this season, it could set up an ISU/MSU rematch! Who wouldn't want to see that?

It's a ridiculous idea to use last year's performance--or any other year's performance--as a criterion for selection into this year's tournament. I'll definitely be rooting for several mid-majors who are on the bubble to get at-large berths, and I'll know if they do indeed get in, it will be because the NCAA selection committee thinks they deserve it for this season...period.

Murray, Welcome to the Internet Age

Hey, Murray Chass! I know you are an aging sports writer who, supposedly, writes a blog. No, wait, Murray doesn't like blogs. He writes online articles. Crappy, online articles at that.

Murray's latest whine? He is saddened that Major League Baseball is no longer printing the Green and Red Books that detail information on each club - team records, finishes, managers, executives, statistics, etc. There is one book for the AL (Green) and one for the NL (Red). MLB has printed these for 70+ years.

Now, before you jump on the Murray bandwagon and light your torches or grab your pitch forks to march on the MLB offices, let's make one thing clear. Yes, the MLB is no longer printing these books. However, for the first time, the books will only be available online.

The books do include a vast amount of information that new and old writers should access for writing various articles. MLB and the teams have determined that there was just not enough interest for the amount of expense to print and mail the books every year when most of the information is duplicated every year. In this age of the Internet and companies going green, I can understand why this decision was made. Murray! If you can supposedly write an online article, I don't see why you cannot easily get this information.

I love how he bemoans in his article how woeful it is he will no longer have his printed copies. It is not like you have to access the Internet every time you want to access the information. You log on and download the information once! If you really want a printed copy - then print the fucking things off you lazy fucktard! Are you pissed because it will not be in a nice green or red book cover?

If you are not going to advance with the times, then get off the Information Superhighway. The last thing we want is you slowing us down with your turn signal stuck on.

Its Here!!! Well, Almost.

Baseball season is finally here, at least sort of. Its Spring Training season and players are all reporting to Florida or Arizona this week to begin prepping for the real thing in April. So I thought I would take a moment to ramble on about a few things to start off the pre-season.

Nate McLouth re-signs with the Bucs

I was a big fan on Nate’s when he was with the Indianapolis Indians and have enjoyed following his progress in the Majors. Nate batted .276 with 26 HRs and 46 doubles, which was tied for first in the NL last year. I am both happy and sad that he stayed in Pittsburgh. I am happy to see him get a nice contract and will hopefully have a nice long stay in the Majors. I am sad that he is on a team that has not had a winning season since Barry Bonds and Bobby Bonilla were playing for the Pirates. Congrats, Nate, and I am looking forward to another great year out of you.

Adam Dunn signs a two-year contract with the Nationals

I have never really figured out why so many sports writers are so negative against Adam Dunn. Yes, I know that he strikes out quite a bit. Adam had 164 strikeouts lat year, but that was only third best on his team! However, he has hit 40 HRs each of the past four years and ranked ninth in the NL with an OBP of .386. So while he does strike out a lot, he still gets on base more than most and can clobber the ball as well. At 29 years old, he still has a several good years left in him and should be a boost to the Nationals. Although sadly like the Pirates, they will probably suck as well this year.

David Eckstein signs with the Padres

The poster child for short, white, average skill baseball players signed a one-year contract with the Padres to help give the team someone with playoff experience and a couple of World Series rings. Because that is the only reason I can see a team signing the Eck. And do not go mentioning he has a boatload of intangibles, GRIT factor or how he isn’t afraid to get dirty. If the man was 6’2” he probably would be in the minors at this point. But since he is short, white and has a couple of rings, GMs seem to have a hard on for the man.

Remember this comment from last year

If the Dodgers do make the trade and they somehow win the World Series, I will kill something.

Allow me to update it for this year:

If the Whale’s Vagina Padres win the World Series with Eckstein on the team, I WILL kill something.

Steroids

I am torn on the steroids topic at this point. I am tired of the whole discussion on the Steroids Era and whether records and statistics should be thrown out or whether the players from that era should not be voted into the Hall of Fame or whether Jose Canseco needs an apology from MLB. Yet I am not sure how I feel about Alex Rodriguez’s most recent explanation of why, how and what he took from 2001-2003. If you are going to come out and tell the truth, then tell the whole truth. His interview was full of contradictions from his first interview, suddenly there was a “cousin” involved, the stuff he took was supposedly available over-the-counter in the Dominican Republic, the two drugs he tested positive for, primobolan and testosterone, could not have come from one drug, he sad attempt at shedding a tear while looking at his teammates, the list goes on and on. I want to know more, but at the same time, I don’t care anymore.

This happened several years ago and he has not tested positive since. He won two additional MVP since the first one he won in 2003, so he is still a very good player without the PEDs. People have pointed out that his home run totals during the three years he said he took PEDs are higher compared to the years after he stopped. However, you cannot necessarily point to steroids as the main factor in the increase. A-Rod signed with Texas in 2001 and Arlington Stadium is a hitters ballpark. After the 2003 season, A-Rod was traded to the Yankees. Yankee Stadium is not suited for A-Rod to hit as many home runs. So this would have also attributed to the decrease in home runs after 2003.

Bud Selig

You’re still a fucktard!

Wrigley Field

I have had the pleasure the past couple of years to bask in sun in the bleachers of Wrigley Field. There is nothing like sitting in the bleachers with a group of great friends with a beer in one hand and a brat in the other, baking in the sun and watching a baseball game in one of the greatest stadiums around. As a Cardinals fan, I’m definitely not a Cubs fan, even though I would like to see them actually win a Series so they can go another hundred years without one. But Wrigley is one of those places where it doesn’t matter what team you are rooting for, you are there to take in the whole experience of “the friendly confines”. I am looking forward to making another trip or two this year.

Like every other fan of our national pastime, I am so looking forward to the two words we long to hear every year:

“PLAY BALL!”

Let It Out (Pffffht)

My what an interesting smell you've discovered. No, it that is not manure that has recently thawed, it is another Bob Kravitz article.

It's been a couple of weeks since we've picked on Bob Kravitz and I was beginning to go through some withdraw symptoms. Thankfully, Bob wrote another of his typical articles and I get to calm my shakes by tackling some hack journalism.

Let It Out (Sports):

Or

I have nothing to write, so I am pulling from any and everything I have heard or read from other people better than me (Sports):

A word of advice for Pacers coach Jim O'Brien, who, I'm quite sure, treasures my input on all things hoops: Play the rookies.

No, I imagine that Coach O’Brien thinks your as much as a fucktard as we do!

Seriously, get Roy Hibbert and Brandon Rush out there and let's see how they develop.
I understand O'Brien wants to get to the playoffs -- as do Herb Simon and Larry Bird -- and he's merely doing what he is paid to do. But after those terrible home losses to the Knicks and Timberwolves, it's apparent that even in the woeful Eastern Conference, this team isn't going to make the playoffs.

Probably not with the way they are playing, but Larry and Herb are trying to put and keep butts in the seats. Trotting out Hibbert and Rush mean the Pacers are announcing they are throwing in the towel for the season and might easily scare away what gains the team has made attendance-wise this season.

If we are seemingly eliminated with a month or so to go, then you might re-address this issue, but right now, the Pacers have to live in the now and not in making the future.

No knock on Rasho Nesterovic, but what's the point in giving big minutes to a guy who won't be a part of the Pacers' future? If the Pacers are going to lose, lose with Hibbert and Rush and give them the opportunity to grow in game situations -- which, I'm happy to say, has been the case the past two games against Philly and Orlando.

Wow! And we sucked in both of those games! Now might not be the time to make sure everyone plays.

>I swear, Tony Dungy could write a casserole recipe on a bar napkin and have it debut at No. 4 on the New York Times bestseller list.

I don’t know about you, but I would be interested in a Tony Dungy casserole recipe.

Yeah, I'm bitter: My book on the Colorado Rockies' first year is now available on Amazon.com for one penny.

Huh, I would have thought someone would have to pay me in order to get your book. I would say a penny for your thoughts, but I don’t care about your thoughts.

>I'm not forgiving Michael Phelps for forgetting that with big money comes big responsibility, but aren't there more heinous crimes being committed in South Carolina than one involving a 23-year-old taking a bong hit?

Yes, your writing could be considered a heinous crime against journalism.

I'm hesitant to drop the bomb on a young guy who did some of the stupid things I did during my wayward youth, but Phelps needs to understand that with all those millions in promotional dollars comes added responsibility.

There are worse crimes, but Phelps is a big household name and it made for big amounts of press. Was it blown out of proportion? Possibly. But when you are getting paid MILLIONS of dollars, you have to keep that squeaky clean lifestyle or pay the consequences.

>The more I hear about all the NFL job cuts -- and that includes the Colts -- the more I wonder, "Why was this necessary?''

While the economy is a shambles, it seems to me the NFL is about as recession- proof as any business in this country. The teams are still getting their TV money, still selling out, still getting sweetheart leases from their local municipalities.

The NFL is not recession-proof. The Colts have an advantage of having a long run of 12+ win seasons, a recent Super Bowl win and a brand new stadium. If the Colts had gone 8-8 or 7-9 this year, you could have had a mass exodus in the backing of the team and left Colts really struggling financially. Even with all of the good times for the team, this is still a small market and I’m sure the Colts are trying to gear up for some possible rough times ahead.

And when businesses like the Colts decide to cut costs, why is it always the lesser-paid employees who get the axe?

We’ll, generally those lesser-paid employees are either expendable and/or in jobs that the team can live without. I did not see a breakdown of the job titles that were being cut, but some of them may have been for season ticket sales, promotions, and public relations or places where they had duplication that they no longer needed. Since the Colts have a long (at least for now) waiting list for season tickets and no problems filling the arena, the Colts may have felt they could do some cost cutting.

I'm not buying the NFL's poor-mouthing act. It is nothing more than a transparent attempt by the league to position itself more favorably before the collective bargaining agreement expires in 2010.

Even if they came out and said that, it makes good economic sense to do so.

At some point, I want a coach or a player to step up and agree to bear some of the financial load. That's how it happens elsewhere. At our newspaper, everybody must take an unpaid, one-week furlough. At my radio station, everybody is taking a 3 percent cut.

Why should a player or a coach take the pay cut? Without them, the team doesn’t make any money. Why don’t you ask the executives at your newspaper to contribute more so you wouldn’t have to take your unpaid furlough? They would just laugh as they had you escorted out the door. Your readers can only hope that your job will be cut, preferably sooner than later.

How about the players who make millions? When do they start to shoulder some of the load?

For now, most of the NFL teams are probably doing well enough to at least get by. If teams really start struggling financially, then I would expect some players and coach to shoulder more of the load.

>Somewhere, the late, great Paul Newman is turning over in his grave.

Yes, because you mentioned him in one of your articles.

His race team, Newman/Haas/Lanigan, has signed the spectacularly unprepared Milka Duno to drive for them. There is only one reason -- well, many millions of reasons -- why the Venezuelan got this gig: She is bankrolled by the country's deep-pocketed oil company.

Considering how hard it has been for racing teams to find or keep sponsors lately, the fact that Milka is bringing sponsors and backing money to the team, I really can’t blame them. I’m sure that she was not the team’s first or probably second choice.

I REALLY do not care for Milka “The Dangerous Back Marker” Duno as a driver. Although part of that may have been her previous team. With a better team now, she may be able to excel and become just “The Back Marker” Duno.

>News: David Beckham says he wants to stay in Italy and does not want to come back to Los Angeles.

Have you seen American soccer? Compared to England, Spain and Italy, most U.S. soccer teams would be in the second or third tier leagues. The only reason he came here originally was the money ($25 million per year) and the fact no one in Europe really wanted him at the time. Now that AC Milan is interested in keeping him, I would want out too!

Views: David Beckham was in Los Angeles? Really?

Shut up, fucktard! You’re not funny. Stop trying.

>It's going to be interesting to see how these most recent Purdue and IU football recruiting classes turn out.

The Hoosiers' Bill Lynch filled his class with in-state talent. Conversely, first-year Purdue coach Danny Hope hit Florida hard -- Purdue had more Florida signees than any non-Florida school -- and did not sign a single Indiana high school player. It was Hope's contention recently that Indiana just didn't have many worthy players, and the few that were opted to go elsewhere.
If Purdue improves, Hope will be lauded for extending the school's recruiting scope. If he loses, fans will howl at the lack of home-grown talent.

Overall, most of the nation’s high school football talent comes out of Texas and Florida. So that may actually be a good thing. I don’t think most alumni care where their players come from, just that their team wins. I’m sure they’ll be pissed if the team loses regardless.

>For the record, I remain completely in agreement with the Pacers' decision to turn Jamaal Tinsley into a non-person.

Damn! I sadly have to agree with him on the one. Ouch, my head hurts now.

You say it hurts his marketability? I've got news. Everybody around the NBA knows he's got issues, the most important issue being his inability to stay healthy. If he'd been allowed to stay around the team, it would have turned into a Stephon Marbury-like circus.

Tinsley is under contract, but that doesn’t mean the team has to play him, just pay him. Tinsely has known his fate since the end of last season. Unfortunately, no other team really wants him, at least at his current salary. So I agree (Fuck that hurts!) that making him persona non grata at the Pacers facility was the best for the team.

Plus, the Pacers management had to make a statement to its fans, just as they did by unloading all the other jokers: They weren't going to let Tinsley's presence poison the focus of this year's locker room.

[I refuse to comment on this as it may cause my head to explode if I agree again.]

>News: Lisa Leslie said she will retire from the WNBA after this year.

Views: Good timing. There might not be a WNBA at this time next year.

The WNBA is still around?

>With a healthy Robbie Hummel, Purdue is an Elite Eight team or maybe better.

Without him, the Boilers can lose the first week of the NCAA Tournament.

News flash, the Boilers can lose the first week with him! Yes, they are a better team with him, but any team can lose in the first round of the NCAA Tournament. Butler has a better chance of being an Elite Eight team than Purdue does, even with Hummel at this point.

>Now that Larry Coyer finally has been named the Colts' defensive coordinator, a quick piece of advice (and I'm sure Larry will appreciate my input): It's OK to blitz once in a while. Really.

If they can shore up the secondary a little bit more, then the Colts should blitz more often. If they had tried blitzing more last season, I think we would have gotten burned more often than we succeeded.

Thus, we end another trashing of Bob Kravitz’s attempt at an article. Bob, don’t quit your day jo…no, wait, please quit your day job! Pretty please?!?

One Arrogant Sportcaster Takes Over For Another

You may have heard this earlier this week: Bob Costas has signed a deal to join the new MLB Network this upcoming season. Costas will "host original programming and serve as play-by-play commentator" for some of the live games broadcast by the network this season. He actually had some airtime today, as an interview Costas did with Joe Torre aired.

Costas will keep his job at NBC, but will give up his show on HBO called "Costas Now."

I suppose this is a good move for the MLB Network, as the move brings a big-name announcer to its lineup. The down side is that along with the knowledge and love of the game that Costas will bring, the MLB Network will also have to make room for his tremendous ego and arrogance, which has the potential to overshadow some of the other things on the network.

Of course, my cable provider is yet to add MLB Network. Fucktards.

Anyway, since HBO had an opening for a small, nerdy announcer, it decided to fill it with the only announcer more arrogant than Costas: Joe Buck. According to the announcement, HBO is still deciding on the content and format of Buck's show, and when it will begin. Buck will keep his job at FOX doing NFL and MLB games.

Buck is knowledgeable, and he's certainly a good play-by-play announcer. However, he's easily the most arrogant one out there. I'm sure that will be more than apparent on his new HBO show.

Mike Wells Wrote a Crappy Article, Bad Writing Blamed

In another year of the Indiana Pacers continuing struggle to win a game, let alone close games, I can understand that the Pacers' beat writer at the Indianapolis Star, Mike Wells, might have a difficult time coming up with new article titles to say how the Pacers lost. However, this one takes the cake.

Pacers lose to Spurs 99-81, lack of offense blamed

(NOTE - This is the headline for the article online last night. The headline was evidently changed overnight for the print edition and now reads, "Offense leaves Pacers." Someone must be reading this site!)

Lack of offense blamed? No shit, Sherlock! That is similar to saying the Pacers lost because they didn't score as much as their opponent. Or, Bob Kravitz is a hack. Or even, Tony Kornheiser is a fucktard. What a shocking revelation!!!!!

What little momentum the Indiana Pacers had going into their trip came to halt the past couple of nights.

The Pacers, who have a lot of ground to make up to make the playoffs, started the second half of the season the same way they finished the first half, with a loss.

The Pacers are the second-worst team in the Eastern Conference at 15-27. Amazingly, they are only 4 1/2 games out of the 8th playoff spot. I don't see 4 1/2 games are a lot of ground with 40 games remaining. Do you?

The San Antonio Spurs outplayed the Pacers in every facet in their 99-81 victory at the AT&T Center on Tuesday night.

So it was more than just lack of offense then, huh?

The 81 points were the Pacers' lowest total in more than two months. They've lost seven straight to the Spurs in San Antonio.

OK, so it was just shitty offense?

Couldn't you also blame the defense for letting their opponent score 99 points?

The Pacers had no answer for Tim Duncan and guard Manu Ginobili.

Duncan scored 27 points and grabbed 10 rebounds in just 27 minutes. Ginobili made the Pacers pay for slow defensive rotations by making all four of his 3-point attempts. He finished with 26 points on 8-of-10 shooting.

Yep!

I think Mike would have been better off to say, "poor offense blamed." The only real "lack of" in this article is good writing.

I know this is a Pacers article and a Pacers beat writer, but I am offended that Mike couldn't spare a sentence to mention that the Spurs' George Hill, formerly of Broad Ripple High School and IUPUI star, scored seven points in 22 minutes or even get a quote from the Indianapolis-native? Come on, Mike! I know you have a tougher job dealing with the losing Pacers than some of your colleagues who cover the Colts, but quit being a fucktard and do your job right.

How Does This Happen?

Here is a screen grab from Thursday night's Orange Bowl telecast on Fox. This comes from early in the game, during introductions of the University of Cincinnati's starting offense:


Notice the picture of Khalil El-Amin on the bottom-right (RT #79). Does he look familiar? If you follow college football, he might--or at least the picture does, since it's really a picture of Florida quarterback Tim Tebow!


And here is what Khalil El-Amin really looks like:

Fuck the heck??? I can see how a producer, graphics operator, or production assistant would get the two of them confused: Tim Tebow plays QB for the #2 team in college football and won the Heisman Trophy last year; Khalil El-Amin plays offensive tackle for the Cincinnati Bearcats. And they look a lot alike, too!

There aren't really a lot of good explanations for this one, other than some fucktard did it on purpose. I mean, if you're Fox, would you want to admit that your crew is that bad at game preparation and proofreading?

Of course, by now it's probably common knowledge, so admitting it would just be redundant.

As God As My Witness, I Thought Turkeys Could Fly

Okay, this post has nothing to do with sports, but I was annoyed enough I needed to say something and hell, we haven't posted much lately, so here it goes.

MSNBC.com had a story on the Top 5 Thanksgiving TV episodes. Their Top 5 consisted of:

“Friends” (“The One Where Ross Got High”)
“Gilmore Girls” (“A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving”)
“The West Wing” (“Shibboleth”)
“Northern Exposure” (“Thanksgiving”)
“South Park” (“Starvin’ Marvin”)

While I have not seen all of the episodes listed above, there is one egregious omission on this list that I cannot abide. How in the hell can you not include the best Thanksgiving episode on TV EVER?!?

The "Turkey's Away" episode of WKRP to me has to be the funniest Thanksgiving TV moment in history! When Mr. Carlson starts dropping live turkeys from a helicopter and Les is on the ground giving a blow-by-blow description has me howling every time. Les' comment on the crowd as being, "curious, yet well-behaved," has been a staple quote amongst our group for years. And we cannot forget, "Thanks for that on-the-spot report, Les, and for those of you who just tuned in, the Pinedale Shopping Mall has just been bombed with live turkeys. Film at eleven."

As we see nearly every time there is a "Best of" list, they typically are heavily biased towards those people/events/things that are more recent. If you ask a typical baseball fan to give you their Top 10 players all-time, most of that list would include recent players. It is the same way with the Top 5 list above. The oldest episode is from 1992 (Northern Exposure) and two are from this decade. Hell, I had graduated high school by 1992. I imagine the person writing this column was born after this infamous WKRP episode even aired (October 1978).

Obviously, I am not alone in this thought. At the bottom of the story, readers can select the Thanksgiving episode they like best from a list of 20 TV episodes. The current leader at the time I wrote this was? You guessed it, "Turkeys Away" with 32% of the vote. A long distance second was the Friends episode at 11%. Way to go MSNBC! Fucktards!

Some from me and all of us here at LomHenn.com, have a Happy Thanksgiving holiday, don't freeze your asses off if you go out early on Black Friday and remember:

TURKEYS CANNOT FLY!

For your viewing pleasure, check out the full episode here.

Playoffs...we don't need no stinking playoffs!

Our apologies for the lack of posts this month. Some of us have been in mourning after Slut's post below on FireJoeMorgan.com and others are still busy with their jobs. We'll now it is time to get back to posting.

How fitting is it that our first post is about our "favorite" journalist - Bob Kravitz. While everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, Bob's opinion that there should not be a college football playoff is valid. Unfortunately, his justification for it is absolutely absurd, as usual.

No playoff is fine with me

On college football and other nonsense:

I belong to a very distinct minority, a population smaller than the one that claims ownership of a Jamaal Tinsley jersey and a David Harrison bobblehead.

Or the Mike Vanderjagt fan club or Panic City. We all know you definitely do not belong to the Good Writers Association!

I don't want a college football playoff.

As mentioned, you are entitled to your opinion. And being a sports columnist, this is a good start to an article. Score one for Bobby.

Well, it's not that I don't want one in the sense I don't want the whooping cough or a third eye in the middle of my forehead, but honestly, I could do quite well to continue living without it.

Why?

Because we already have a college football playoff system in place.

Oh, really? Yes we do, but it is in the lower levels of college football. But the last time I checked we do not in the BCS.

It's called the regular season.

What?!? Hey, shit-for-brains! A regular season in not a playoff!

Every week, every game involving a Top 25 team is, in its own way, a playoff game. It's not necessarily a one-and-done, but it serves essentially the same purpose.

While games involving Top 25 teams CAN be exciting, that is not always the case. Granted, a loss during the season can end a college teams chance at the National Championship, that is not always the case. In a playoff, you ARE one and done!

One of the reasons college football's popularity has soared in recent years is because every regular-season game matters and matters deeply. When USC loses early in the season at Oregon State, it's tantamount to a first-round playoff loss. When Texas Tech knocks off Texas, it's a playoff game.

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

It is not a playoff game you half-witted, hack of a journalist! It is a regular season conference game that did have consequences to the loser and benefits to the winner. But both teams have to play out their seasons to see if either can reach a BCS game or even the National Championship. Also, the game was the game of the season at that point. But if Texas and Texas Tech both lost two or three games over the remainder of the season, then the game's importance suddenly fades and becomes a footnote.

Also, most teams in the Top 10 do not play each other during the season unless they are from the same conference. Penn State, Alabama, USC, Texas Tech, and Florida State do not play each other during the regular season. How can you fairly say Alabama is more worthy than Texas Tech unless they play each other in playoff game, or in current terms, a bowl game?

Everything we do in sports these days serves to devalue the regular season, which is pretty precious considering how ticket prices have continued to soar for those increasingly meaningless games. The NFL has six playoff teams from each conference. Baseball went to the wild card. In hockey and basketball, the only teams that miss the playoffs are the Washington Capitals and Los Angeles Clippers.

God, the absurdity just keeps getting better and better! (Or worse and worse depending on how you look at it.)

# of teams making the playoffs/# of teams in league

Baseball - 8 out of 30

Football - 12 out of 32

Basketball - 16 out of 30

Hockey - 16 out of 30

Say what you want about the NBA and NHL. Over half the teams make the playoffs each year. But how can you say that the Super Bowl and World Series DEVALUE the regular season! The whole point of playing the season it to see who makes it to the playoffs and then who can make it to the championship.

By Kravitz's argument, the championship should have been handed over to the New England Patriots at the end of the regular season last year. No need for the playoffs, the Pats were a perfect 16-0, hand them the Lombardi trophy.

Yet, the Pats lost in the Super Bowl. We have the playoffs to have the best teams from the regular season play each other because many times they do not get always get to play each other during the regular season.

Bowl games, other than the championship game, are essentially meaningless. Conference basketball tournaments are nothing more than raw money grabs that devalue the regular season. They provide bad to average teams with second and third chances they don't deserve.

Yes, bowl games other than BCS games are meaningless in the grand scheme. However, they are a financial reward for the teams playing in them and usually a fun trip for alumni and fans.

I will agree that conference basketball tournaments are there just for the money and for mid-major and lower level teams, the tournaments do devalue the regular season. For those conferences, unless you are a Butler or Gonzaga, your conference only gets one bid and that goes to the conference tournament champ. So you can go 15-1 in your conference, lose in the finals and get to watch the tournament from home. So that's two for Bob...and two hundred against.

I like the fact that with one bad performance, Penn State's claim to a national title is all but dead.

Unless Texas Tech, Alabama, etc. all lose a game, then Penn State could resurface.

It's difficult to quantify, but there is surely value in the continual "who's No. 1?'' debate in college football.

Yes, it provide shit-fucks like you an excuse to blab your mouth on why you think Northeast Central Kansas Polytechnical A&M should be #1 this week. However, the whole poll system is subjective and as we have seen previously, is subject to influence within conferences. The BCS works when only two teams are undefeated at the end of the year. But when three or more teams are undefeated or all have one loss, the system does not work.

There is a college football playoff system.

It's called the regular season.

There is a term for journalists like you - fucktard!

There is never going to be a perfect answer to the college football playoff. The BCS IS flawed, but better than the old system of just the AP and Coaches Polls. Even if the NCAA institutes an eight team playoff, people will still be arguing which eight teams should be in it and who got snubbed. Hell, we do that with the 64-team basketball tournament!

Slut and I continue to be amazed at the fact that Kravitz can reach the correct conclustion or have a valid point, but the way he gets there or the justification for his point is so totally wrong or off-base that it kills us.

I do not fault Bob for his opinion. But man his reasoning is so fucking far off-base that you have to wonder what the man is thinking (or not) sometimes. I think working for the newspaper and co-hosting a radio show are too much for Bob and his teeny, tiny brain to handle.

Fox Trax Strikes Out

I'm watching Game 2 of the World Series last night and Fox Network is using something they call "Fox Trax" which is a graphic showing where the pitch was located versus the strike zone. Unfortunately, every time they show it, it was fucking wrong! I want to know where the pitch was located when it crossed home plate - NOT WHERE THE CATCHER CAUGHT IT, you fucktards!

ESPN's Gamecast and MLB.com's GameDay online modules show you where the pitch was located as it crossed home plate, i.e. in relation to the batter. Fox is showing me where is the pitch was located when the catcher catches it. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! The world is watching the game and seeing batters getting called strike three's, but according to Fox, the pitches are no where near the strike zone.

Come on, Fox! Are you rusty since TBS carried the majority of the earlier playoff games this year? Are you just that freaking lazy? Get off your asses and do the job you're fucking supposed to do!

Remain Calm. All is Well!

Hello, folks. Our local fucktard sports columnist actually took the time to write an article this week and it is his usual half-assed drivel with horrible and asinine attempts at humor. Oh, well. At least Kravitz gives me something to write about.

The Indianapolis Colts don't currently reside in Panic City (pop. 53).

Right off the bat we have a shitty attempt at trying to covey the fact the Colts are on the verge of needing to panic and all 53 players are the entire population. I would think if the ENTIRE team was on the verge of panic the population would also include, at a minimum, the coaches, the front office, the owner, just to name a few. I would think you could also include Colts fans in that number as well.

They are, however, keeping a residence in the suburbs.

Oh, and what is the name of that suburb? Anxiety Acres? Consternation Creek? Trepidationopolis?

A victory Sunday in Houston would make most of the doubts go away, at least for a couple of days. A loss, especially a loss combined with another Tennessee victory, and Eli Lilly and Co. will be forced to spike the city's drinking water with Prozac.

Could someone please hook Bob up with someone with a sense of humor? I’m tired of his poor attempts at comic relief.

Let's be honest: This team, a Super Bowl front-runner the minute New England quarterback Tom Brady went down, is one road loss in Houston from a national what's-wrong-with-the-Indianapolis-Colts story.

Well how about this international article on what’s-wrong-with-the-Indianapolis-Colts stories or this? OK, there Canadian, so you can make your own judgment calls on them.

This team, which has a golden chance to win its second title in three years with New England out of the way, is one poor 60-minute performance from being this year's biggest and most inexplicable flop.

Yo, fucktard! There are still 12 games to go after this game. Yes, being 1-3 and then making the playoffs is difficult, it is not impossible. What if we have a decent 60-minute performance, but still lose? With the injuries and retirements and waiving of players, I don’t know if that makes us the biggest flop. I would put the Lions and Bengals ahead of the Colts. While the Lions have sucked for a while, I felt that they could have battled for a .500 record or an outside shot at the playoffs after a decent finish last year. The Bengals have been just awful this year.

There's a thin blue line between a must-win game (that would be any game where a loss would mean elimination) and a need-to-win game. This game resides in that nether region in between. If they lose and the Titans win, the Colts would be 31/2 games behind the AFC South leaders and in last place in the division for the first time, not counting the season's opening week.

If it is a thin line, then how the hell are we in between? We might be right on the line, but personally I feel it is only a need-to-win game. A loss is not the end of the world at this stage.

Consider this: Each year since 2003, the AFC South winner -- always Indy -- has had 12 or more victories.

Ummm, what about the first year of the AFC South in which Tennessee won the division with an 11-5 record?

Jacksonville won 11 games last year and was a wild card. If the Colts lose and past is prologue, that means Indy would have to go 11-1 the rest of the season to hit that magic 12.

Good luck with that.

A 10-2 finish is daunting.

Maybe daunting, but not impossible.

Shoot, 9-3 would get them to 10-6, a record that hasn't been historically good enough to make the playoffs out of this division.

It kills me that the man can spent time to write an article but not spent less than five minutes to do even a minute amount of research. Because if he did, he would realize that most of his assumptions are totally incorrect. In roughly three minutes with the use of just basic search engines and a few pages on a website, I found out that not only do 10-6 teams generally make the playoffs, they even do it from the AFC South.

Year #5 Seed WC #6 Seed WC
2002 10-6 COLTS 9-7 Browns
2003 12-4 Titans 10-6 Broncos
2004 10-6 Jets 10-6 Broncos
2005 12-4 Jaguars 11-5 Steelers
2006 10-6 Jets 9-7 Chiefs
2007 11-5 Jaguars 10-6 Titans

So five out of the six years the AFC South has been around, at least one 10-6 team has made the playoffs. Better yet, the Colts did it back in 2002 with, yep, a 10-6 record. And both wild card teams we from the AFC South last year! Wow, just a quote bit of research and once again we proved what a lazy fucktard Kravitz really is.

"Can you remember one stretch this season when you've played really good football?'' defensive end Dwight Freeney was asked.

He shook his head.

"Nah, nah, nowhere near that, and that's in all phases: defense, offense and special teams,'' he said. "Across the board. I don't think anybody can sit in here and say we're playing the way we want to play. I don't think anybody's happy.''

Yes, Dwight understands the team has not played well.

That's why Sunday is one of those really-close-to-a-must-win games. At 2-2, the Colts would have survived the first quarter of the season despite injuries to key players, the defection of Quinn Pitcock and the release of Ed Johnson. At 1-3, they'd be in trouble -- even more trouble if the Titans beat Baltimore and move to 5-0.

The Colts still have not played the Titans. If the Colts do go 1-3 and beat the Titans both times this year, they would have the tie-breaker if they finish tied at the end of the year. See, not impossible to come back from.

It's often said that a team can't win a division in September, but a team can lose the division in September. And that's where the Colts find themselves as they prepare for a Houston team that is winless, although better than its record suggests, desperate and preparing to play its first home game in front of rabid crowd that is still rebuilding from Hurricane Ike.

It is also often said, at least on this site, shitty writers will continue to write shitty columns as you prove week after week.

Remember, one week ago, the Texans were one play from walking out of Jacksonville with a victory. These are not you're slightly-older-brother's Texans, despite the uninspiring record.

And this is not your father’s Oldsmobile.

The keys:

The Colts must slow somebody's running game. Seriously, if Steve Slaton pulls a Ron Dayne on this group, Indy should wave the white flag of surrender. Or at least think about another Booger McFarland-type trade. Maybe talk Warren Sapp off the dance floor. Something.

Or how about actually tackling someone? How many times have we hit a runner in the backfield and have him still go for plus yardage or even for 44 yards?

I do think we are at the point where we need to consider revamping our defensive line paradigm. I understand the Colts like to have lighter, but quicker D-lineman. But we get pushed around so much in the running game that is keeps biting us in the ass. I can understand having a Freeney on the end, but we need some honking big guys at the tackles to make it tougher to run on us.

Pressure quarterback Matt Schaub the way they used to torture David Carr. Schaub can throw if he has time. Against pressure, he's just another guy.

I do miss watching David Carr get repeatedly driven into the ground.

Re-involve Anthony Gonzalez, who was so active in the first two games. Against Jacksonville, the Colts didn't have enough plays from scrimmage to incorporate their blossoming wide receiver.

The main issue against Jacksonville was not that the Colts did not involve Anthony Gonzalez, it was they did not get enough offensive plays to run. Another factor is that Dallas Clark was back in the lineup against Jacksonville and it seems that when Dallas in on the field, Anthony is not.

Win the turnover battle. Since coach Tony Dungy came to Indy, the Colts have been on the right side of turnover differential in five of six seasons. So far this year they've forced two turnovers and committed five (four interceptions), leaving them an uncharacteristic minus-3.

It would also help to have defensive backs actually catch the interceptions when they get their hands on the ball. There have been at least a couple of instances that we have had sure interceptions dropped and then the opponent continue on downfield and score on us. But Kravitz is actually right (damn that hurt) in that when the Colts win the turnover battle, they have won.

One national writer with a strong football pedigree, Sports Illustrated's Paul Zimmerman, suggested the Colts look "spent.''

Could he be on to something?

He might be, but you never are.

They have looked unorganized, especially against the Bears. Could it actually be that players do need to have a preseason in order to get ready for the regular season? Peyton has been rusty and it did take longer than expected for him to recover from the bursa sac surgery. The bye week should have helped him and the team get more on track and recover from injuries and dings.

It's understood that a slow start isn't a death sentence in this upside-down league. Last year's Super Bowl-winning New York Giants began the year 0-2 and looked miserable in the process. They turned it around late and got on a postseason roll.

They actually turned it around early and kept getting stronger late.

My sense through three shoddy games is that the Colts are still a primary player in the AFC, that the slow start is due largely to injuries, the Pitcock defection and the Johnson release. They are still the AFC South's sleeping giants, the team with the greatest potential to seize control of a conference that lacks a clear and present danger.

Bob, you do not have any sense.

I feel that the Colts are an 11-5 team, but it would not surprise me if they finished 8-8. Even great teams can have an off year where nothing goes right.

Tennessee? Fine. The Titans are better than anybody thought -- except for Colts president Bill Polian, who knows all because he is a football man and serves on the Competition Committee. I'll give the Titans 11 wins. Tops.

Since the Flaming Thumbtacks are also known as the Indianapolis Colts South or the home for the Colts Rejects, it does not surprise me that they are doing well. The Colts won with those rejects even though we were happy to see most of them go. The Titans have had the benefit of an easier schedule and having bounces go their way. The Titans have played three of their first four games at home and their only road game was against the hapless Bengals. Their only tough game so far was the home game versus the Jaguars in Week 1.

I’m going to put on my Nostradumbass hat on and predict that the law of averages catches up with the Titans and they will come into Lucas Oil Stadium in Week 17 with a 10-5 record and either the division title or a playoff berth on the line.

How would have thought that the final game of the season at home versus Tennessee could actually mean something?

Jacksonville? The Jaguars are still the Colts' biggest threat, regardless of their early struggles.

The Jaguars have struggled just like the Colts and are only a couple of plays from being 0-4 just like the Colts are really one play from being 2-1 and then we wouldn’t be reading crap like this. We could easily have a three-way battle for the division this year. Or even four-way battle if the Colts lose this week, but turn it around the rest of the season.

If the Colts lose Sunday, it's not over. But it's moving perilously in that direction. Then it's Panic City, here they come.

Oh for fucks sake. It’s not over until you are mathematically eliminated, so until then you keep playing to make the playoffs.

1-3 is not the end of world and an 8-8 season maybe good for the team and the Colts faithful. We’ve been spoiled the past five years and fans begin to expect that every year. It’s been a fun ride and maybe a few bumps along the way will be the jolt the Colts need to point them in the right direction. Or it might knock the wheels off and turn ugly really quick.

If the Colts lose, this will be Bob on Monday morning.

Nothing like a dose of Kravitz-ripping to get you going in the morning.