Week #2 NFL Picks

Welcome back Vegas betters! The Z-man will be taking temporary control while O'Hoolix is on... paternitity leave? Do furry space alien mascots get paternitity leave? Anyway, the O'Hoolix clan have welcomed a new little alien to this world to help battle the evils of the sports writing world as well as enemy terrorists. Congrats, O'Hoolix! I hope my picks fare better than yours!

Now on with the show.

I was not able to get the picks in last week, but that was probably a good thing as they did not turn out very well. However, like the Colts, I expect to turn things around and do some crushing this week!

Speaking of the Colts (+2.5), I expect them to cover and win outright against the Browns at home. The Horshshoes will not have a meltdown like last week and will have some some of the line deficiencies, both O and D, solved. Expect Freeney and Mathis to do some damage and pressure the Browns into an interception or two.

Saints (-7.5) vs Bears.

Redskins (-4.5) vs Cardinals.

Dallas Cowboys (+2.5) at 49ers.

Patriots (-6.5) vs Whale's Vagina Chargers.

Eagles (-2.5) at Falcons.

Giants (-6.5) vs Rams.

Good luck all! (Especially if you bet on these. HA!)

Your Week #2 Chicken Little Checklist

Alrighty, let's go over the checklist.

1. Lose your 4-time NFL MVP quarterback for an extended period.

Check!

2. Sign a replacement QB who was retired to be the starter because the guy who was your backup has a regular season QB rating of less than 10 and should not be allowed anywhere on the playing field.

Check!

3. Complete #2 less than three weeks before the regular season starts.

Check!

4. Go out the first week and lay a craptacular egg against a division rival.

Check!

5. If your a season ticket holder you should immediately go out and sell your tickets to all future Colts games.

Che...WTF!

Well, according to WTHR in Indy, they seem to think that Colts ticket holders will be jumping ship now that the team is facing a different kind of adversity we haven't had to face in quite a while.

INDIANAPOLIS - A blowout loss in the first game could prompt Colts' season ticket holders to sell or give away some of their tickets.

WTF! REALLY! Do you really think the sky is falling at this point? While the blowout loss to Houston was a tough one to swallow, it was also a page out of the Worst Case Scenario book. I don't expect Kerry Collins to have the same issues in the first quarter of the Browns game and end up in a 17-0 hole after one quarter.

And considering this weekend's game is the first home game, I don't think most ticket holders are in a hurry to try and make some cash versus seeing the game.

If we are 0-8 at the mid-season point, then we'll have a different story altogether.

It's more than just a first game loss. The first game without Peyton Manning in which the team barely showed a pulse might turn into an opportunity.

Again, see my previous point.

"I thought it was bad," said Brian Williams.

I thought he actually said, "I thought is sucked donkey balls!" But it is broadcast TV, so they had to clean it up.

Ticket brokers say it's a little early for a mass exodus but with the Cleveland Browns coming to town it could be a bellwether game. If the Colts play poorly again this weekend, the hometown faithful may decide to take advantage of the Steelers visit the following week, since Pittsburgh fans are known to travel well.

So basically you already proved you are jumping the gun with this article.

"Pittsburgh is a good traveling team. They can't get tickets to their own stadium, so a lot of times they go on the road. They got a lot of fans that travel, so we are still seeing a lot of demand for that game," said Kyle Kinnett with Sport Events.

This is actually true and was proved in the playoff game in 2006. Fans thought we would walk into the next round and people made a few bucks. Oops!

But some Colts fans aren't so quick to get rid of their tickets.

No shit, Sherlock!

"No, I wouldn't sell them. Not to them, no. No, I don't think I would sell them at all," said Shari Jordina.

"I'd sit through anything the Colts gotta do," Williams said. "No matter what. I'm a die hard Colts fan."

I think this is what most season ticket holders are saying. If you are that quick to sell your tickets before the first home game, then you are probably not much of a Colts fan in the first place.

On the Eyewitness News Facebook page, reaction was much the same Monday.

"I don't have them, but if I did, I would still be at every game. I'm a true blue bleeder, no matter the time. Standing behind a time that has taken us farther than I ever thought possible," said one fan, Gloria.

"Anyone who sells their tickets just because the #1 QB is out hurt is not a true Colts fan," wrote another fan, Rhonda.

Wham! Wham! Wham! (Sound of my head hitting the desk)

For now demand is steady, but there is a crack.

There are still plenty of fans who want to see a Colts game. With or without Manning. Even if the Colts are 0-8, I'm still going to go to a game and have a good time. It is all nice when your team wins, but you tend to take with you the overall experience of the game. The atmosphere, the camaraderie, the lighter wallet and the cheering are all part of going to the game.

"Demand is definitely the same. The prices have dropped a bit. I would liken it to when the economy took a dive a few years ago - predominantly our business was corporate America, corporate America, corporate America and the price was high. When that happened, the pricing came down and gave the opportunity for fans and people who haven't been able to attend these events in the past the opportunity to go. It's the same; I mean, it's a good team. It's a team sport. Prices are down but it's giving the opportunity to fans who couldn't afford to prior the opportunity to go now," Kinnett said.

Dude, the prices have dropped because your franchise player is not playing. It's not like trying to sell tickets to the Brickyard 400. You still have plenty of people who want to go see the Colts. However, since you are not sure what kind of play you are going to see at this point, you are not going to get the top dollar you were getting in previous seasons.

If you normally don't have the opportunity to attend Colts games, this could be your year. Tickets are going for face value.

And that is not necessarily anything new. When I checked Stub Hub there were some going for under face value, but they were the upper level sideline seats in the upper rows. Not sure why they are charging $69 face value for those seats, but they were selling in the mid-$40's. The cheap end zone seats were going for a few bucks over face value. So, like any event, there are some bargains. It's not like it is a pre-season game where you can't give the tickets away.

"It was tough to watch, but I would give them another chance. They are our Colts, so we have to give them a chance," Jordina said.


It's not like you're going to a game and being forced to watch Ishtar or Nothing But Trouble! The Colts are going to win games this year. The Colts are going to lose games this year. Kerry Collins will get more on track and the rest of the team will buck up and actually start showing up. It is not time to throw in the towel and play for a high draft pick. We do not know how long Peyton will be out. If the Colts can hover around .500 and Manning can come back after 8 games, then they may still have a shot at the playoffs.

Even without Manning for the season, the AFC South is winnable for the Colts. I'm not giving up on them yet, and it looks like most fans are not ready to either.

Really, an actual post!!!

Yes, it does seem like every one except O'Hoolix had dropped off the face of the Internet. Work and life catches up with us sometimes and it is hard to find the time or the energy to do something that is more than a hobby but less than a job. We'd love to get paid to do this but we just have not been able to find any one stupid enough to sponsor us yet.

Thanks to O'Hoolix for keeping us going. I think my last post was back in what, July? Anyways, my early New Year's resolution is to devote more time to our site.

Normally I try not to pick on just a section of a story...unless it really deserves it. And this story deserves it. Overall the story is fine. I enjoy just about any story about a Colts victory. Just gets the facts straight, will ya!

"Garrard was 23 of 40 for 223 yards and three touchdowns. Maurice Jones-Drew ran 27 times for 110 yards and a score, and caught five passes for 30 yards and a touchdown. But once the Jaguars got behind and abandoned the running game, they had trouble sustaining drives."

The Jaguars scored on five of their first six drives and the one they did not score on was a missed FG (thanks again, Steve Perry). The Jags were up 31-28 when they took their final lead. From that point on they went punt-punt-punt-interception. The Colts went punt-TD-punt-kneel downs. Therefore, the Jags actually had the lead MORON. And really, they did not necessarily abandon the run.

On the possession after the Colts TD, the Jags ran the ball twice on first downs, but Maurice Jones-Drew only ran for 3 and 2 yards, respectively. David Garrard was passing the ball pretty well. The illegal formation penalty was the killer on the drive. Instead of a 19-yard gain and a first down, it became 2nd-and-13 and the Jags were forced to pass twice resulting in an incomplete pass and a sack. After the Jags forced the Colts to punt just before the two-minute warning, you have to abandon the run with only one timeout and the two-minute warning.

The Colts defense also seemed to step it up in the fourth quarter, so Jones-Drew was not as effective either after that point. In the second half, Jones-Drew had only 39 yards in 13 carries, a 3.0 YPC average. He had 71 yards in the first half.

So congrats to the Colts on going 14-0! We see about a discussion on whether the Colts should shoot for 16-0. Let's see if those of us at LomHenn.com can string together our own streak of posts.

[From somewhere across town I hear Slut yelling, "No bet!"]

Time to go digging through some old Bob Kravitz posts. I know there is at least one we need to post...

Quick Hits

Welcome to another entry of quick hits. There are a few topics I wanted to cover, but nothing necessarily big enough for its own post. Feel free to call it mindless ramblings, if you choose.

Howard Kellman

Howard Kellman is the play-by-play announcer for the Indianapolis Indians of the International League (IL), top farm team of the Pittsburgh Pirates. Howard is entering his 34th season with the Indians and continues to call high school football and basketball games for WHMB TV-40. Howard was inducted into the Indiana Sportswriters and Sportscasters Association Hall of Fame on Saturday night. I just wanted to give a shout out to Howard for his work. I have enjoyed listening to Indians broadcasts and hope to be able to enjoy hearing his voice for many more years. Congratulations, Howard!

Let's just hope that we never see Bob Kravitz's name listed here.

Indianapolis Colts' 2009 Schedule

The NFL released the 2009 season schedule last night. The Colts justifiably get five prime-time games next season. What irks me is that for the second year in a row, the fans get hosed on the number of prime-time home games. Of the five games next year, only one is at home, against our arch enemies, the New England Patriots. The Colts will have road prime-time games against the Cardinals, Dolphins, Titans and Jaguars. The Colts only played two of their five prime-time games at home last year (Bears and Patriots). I don't know what jacked up criteria the NFL uses for their scheduling, but we got hosed again, Billy!

St. Louis Cardinals Bullpen

They're still shitty! OMFG!!!! OMFGTAFPMOLYWNFB!!!!!! The Cardinals lead the Majors in '08 with 31 blown saves. In 9 games this year, they've blown 3 so far! The Cardinals parted with Jason Isringhausen and Chris Perez after last season. Ryan Franklin and Kyle McClellan were kept on, but neither one will be the Cards #1 closer. They have added Jason Motte, Josh Kinney and Trevor Miller to their roster this year. The Cards are hoping that Motte and be groomed to be their closer, but he bombed in his first save opportunity. The Cards have the offense to make a run for the playoffs, but their bullpen will be the death of them again this year. Fuck!

St. Louis Blues

Yes, I have a thing for St. Louis teams. Growing up in Indy in the 70's and early 80's, the only professional team we had were the Pacers. So I attached myself to the Cardinals in the early 80's and adopted the football Cardinals (until the third or fourth season of the Colts in Indy) and the Blues as well.

Congratulations to the Blues for making the NHL Playoffs after a three year absence. Last week, the Blues were on the outside looking in. But after winning their final four games of the regular season, they jumped all the way up to the #6 seed. The Blues will face the Vancouver Canucks in the first round. Good luck, guys!

March FotM

Reminder to everyone to get in your votes for March's Fucktard of the Month! Your nominees are Bob Kravitz, Jay Cutler and ESPN.

And finally, in the "it's never too late" category, Slut and I had intended to do some baseball predictions and analysis. We have our division results and playoff predictions, along with O'Hoolix who wanted to get into the mix, and we will present those shortly. It remains to be seen if we can actually find some time to do our division-by-division analysis. At this point it may be the All-Star break before that happens. We'll see what we can do.

As always, thank for reading.

Sayonara, Marvin

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good bye!

It is definitely not, "don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!"

The sad fact about sports and salary caps is that sometimes teams have to let go of the players you hate to see go. But sports teams ARE a business and they have to do what is best for the business and not necessarily what fans want. Even if that player is a future Hall of Famer. Marvin Harrison's salary cap price was just too steep for the amount of output he was expected to generate next season. With Reggie Wayne becoming Peyton's favorite target and Anthony Gonzalez growing in his second season, Marvin became expendable. Not to mention the fact that the last two seasons were below par, mainly due to injuries and partially due to age.

I would love to see Marvin stay with the Colts and there is some small hope that he could re-sign with the Colts if no one chooses to sign him. Marvin will be 36 and just does not seem to be the player that he was before his injury in 2007. I think Marvin could still be quite a contributor to a team, but his $13.4 million cap figure was too much for a #3 or #4 receiver. I cannot blame Marvin for asking to be released. He thinks he can get more than what the Colts were offering. More power to him.

Fans can be mad if they want. I'm sure just as many would be upset if they had resigned him.

Marvin will be missed. They ought to enshrine his spot at the end of the Colts' bench that he would occupy by himself while not on the field. Marvin was not a flashy or attention-getting player like T.O. or Ocho Cinco, but he let his playing on the field speak for himself. It is interesting in that while Marvin was never one for interviews or talking much with the media, the media never really vilified or hated him for that.

I know everyone will have their favorite memories of Marvin and I am sure we will share those often down the road when he is elected to the Hall of Fame and inducted into the Colts' Ring of Honor. However, the two memories that quickly come to mind are the one-handed diving catch against the Titans a couple of years ago and the playoff game against the Broncos where Marvin caught the ball, no one tagged him and he got up and ran for a touchdown.

I hope Marvin is able to get a couple of more productive years in the league, but sadly it will not be in a Colts uniform.

ESPN to '06 Colts - You Suck!

When you think of the 2006 Indianapolis Colts - do you think of them as overrated?

ESPN's Sal Paolantonio does! Good ol' Sal has labeled the Super Bowl XLI champs as the"most overrated Super Bowl winner." Really?!?

I'll give you that the game was not the most thrilling since it was the first Super Bowl played in the rain. But I think I've seen some worse Super Bowls (XX, XXIV and XXXIII come quickly to mind). Super Bowl XLI may have been the "sloppiest" and not just because of the rain.

There were plenty of mistakes made on both sides. Dungy choosing to kick-off to Devin Hester, which was run back for a touchdown. Rex Grossman doing his Chris Berman impression on a third quarter series - back, back, back. Peyton's lone TD pass to a wide-open Reggie Wayne because his defender was playing man while the rest of his team was in a zone. Rex's limp-wristed lob to Mushin Muhammad that Kevin Heyden intercepted and returned for the game-sealing TD.

I'll also give Sal that Peyton Manning did not deserve the MVP trophy. Dominic Rhodes (113 yds, 1TD) and Joseph Addai (77 yds) should have shared the MVP or if you had to pick just one, then Dom would have been my choice. The Colts put up 191 yards on the ground against the Bears who were 6th against the run, only giving up 99.4 yds/game during the season. Manning won the MVP because he finally won the "big" game. Most overrated MVP? Yes, you could probably give that to Manning.

Beyond that, I think that Sal is off his rocker. The Colts' much maligned defense allowed only one TD and one FG. Their run defense ranked the worst in the NFL giving up 173 yds/game. They held the Bears to 112 yards and no touchdowns. They harassed Rex all night and he really hasn't been the same since, really.

The Bears defense ranked fifth in the league. So that fact that Manning struggled in the rain should not have been too big of a surprise. It was a miracle that our running game worked as well as it did and that is why they should have be given the MVP.

And Sal, your title says the "most overrated winner", but you spend almost the entire article trying to prove it as the "worst" Super Bowl ever. Those are two drastically different categories. The Colts were the #3 seed in 2006, even while finishing 12-4. So they had two win three games to get to the Super Bowl. This was not the 2007 Patriots that are definitely the most overrated loser ever. The Colts had to beat their nemesis, the Patriots, in the AFC Championship. (A much better game.) The line was 6 1/2 points, which the Colts covered. Going into the playoffs, I do not remember hearing the pundits saying the Colts had the easiest road to make it to the Super Bowl or even a majority thinking the Colts would even make it to the Super Bowl. Overrated? I don't think so.

Sal never really gets into why he thinks the Colts were the most overrated team. I would have preferred to see Sal give his worst three, four or five Bowls and his reasoning why they are the worst. I would be slightly more understanding if I could see his comparisons against other "bad" winners.

Obviously, I am more than a little biased since I am a Colts fan. If this game had been between Seattle and Cleveland, then I might be inclined to agree that it was one of the worst Super Bowls. However, as I mentioned before, I can name a few other Super Bowls that were blowouts that I personally thought were worse or just plain boring. Frankly, Sal, I have to rate your article as one of the worst on Super Bowls.

Time for an Overtime Change

The current overtime rules for the NFL suck ass!

Let me begin by saying I have felt this way for quite a while and this is not a result of the Indianapolis Colts loss to the San Diego Charges in overtime on Saturday night. This is just the exclamation point on my rant.

Why do teams get to go for 60 minutes battling each other to a tie just to have only one team get the opportunity to possess the ball in overtime? How is that fair to the team that loses the coin toss? Yes, their defense should have done their job and stopped them, but to not allow the offense to have one chance to even the game is just plain stupid.

I do not want the NFL to implement the NCAA football overtime rules. For NFL teams, that would results in games going into 8 or 9 overtimes unless you disallowed field goals after the third or fourth overtime.

I know the Arena Football League will never compare to the NFL, but I do feel they get it right when it comes to overtimes. Each team gets at least one possession and if the game is still tied after each team has had a possession, then it becomes sudden death. Now the coin toss becomes more strategic because you have to decide whether you want the ball first or wait to see if you might need to score only a field goal to tie or win the game or if you must score a TD to tie the game up.

I'm not asking for an extreme modification of the rules, just to make the rules fair. Of course I would not be as adamant if the Colts had a fucking running game or if they had a defense that can actually tackle someone or quit with the stupid tacky penalties. Let's just do what is right and let each team have a possession before it becomes sudden death.

Streaking to the Record

OK, people! And by people, I mean sports writers and broadcasters. Let me explain something to you. With their 23-0 win over the Tennessee Flaming Thumbtack yesterday, the Indianapolis Colts became the first team to win 12 or more games for six consecutive years. I have seen at least twice (once here) and heard at least twice (Bob Lamey and on WFBQ) that the Colts "broke" their record of five consecutive 12-plus win seasons. The Colts did not break the record, you fucktards, they extended their record! The five season streak was the current streak. If this was their second five season streak, then they would have broken the record. Since it is the current streak, they EXTENDED their record streak.

The Boston Celtics just set a team record with 19 consecutive victories. If they has beaten the Lakers last week and extended their streak to 20 consecutive victories, you would not have said that they "broke" their record, would you? No, they extended it! Got it!

If the Colts "extend" their streak next season and you write/say they "broke" their record again, we will "break" your legs.

That's the Way the Ball Bounces

I was really dreading this morning after the Indianapolis Colts lost to the Tennessee Flaming Thumbtacks last night on Monday Night Football. I was not in the mood to deal with Bob Kravitz and the local sports talk media on the demise of the Colts. It was a frustrating game to watch and gives Tennessee a near insurmountable 4-game lead with 9 games to play.

The most frustrating part to me is the way the ball has bounced for Indy this year. Last night was a microcosm of how things just are not going the Colts' way. In the second quarter alone:

• Peyton Manning threw an unwise pass to Reggie Wayne that was tipped. The ball deflects directly to Chris Hope for the interception. A few feet in either direction and it probably drops harmlessly.
• Chris Johnson fumbled the ball and the Colts recovered it. The officials evidently felt that the ground caused the fumble and Tennessee kept the ball. Replays showed that the ball came out before he was tackled. Jeff Fisher wisely ran a quick play before Tony Dungy could call for a replay.
• Immediately after that, Clint Session had a easy interception and could have run it back a ways, but he dropped the pass because he started upfield before he fully had the ball.
• Pierre Garcon stupidly chose not to field a punt around the Colts' 25 and ball bounces all the way back to the Colts' 6-yard line.

Then later in the game:

• Marlin Jackson caused a fumble and the ball rolled harmlessly out of bounds.
• Anthony Gonzalez catches a third-down pass about a yard short of the first down and is immediately tackled. Receivers need to know where that first down marker is and make sure they are past it!
• The Colts screw up two fourth-down plays. On fourth-and-1, the Colts hand off to Dominic Rhodes who if stuffed for a one yard loss. The Colts do not have the O-line that can "power" their way for one yard when they absolutely need it. Then later on a fourth-and-3, Peyton locks on Marvin and former Colt Nick "If you had fucking cut back outside we would have gone to another Super Bowl" Harper breaks up the pass. Gonzo was wide open for the first down this time.

Back in 2006 when the Colts were on the their way to the Super Bowl, it seemed that they caught more of the breaks that year. Offensive linemen recovering fumbles in the end zone, defensive backs catching interceptions, bad passes falling harmlessly to the ground. Granted, the Colts have caught some breaks due to bad play calling and bad decisions by Minnesota and Houston. Otherwise, the Colts could be much worse off than they are. Yet, even at 3-4, we still have a very good shot at a wild card birth.

As I have quoted before, "Better lucky than good," but the Colts have not been good very often let alone lucky. I will not say that the Colts' season is on the brink. Even if they lose versus New England next week, the Colts have shown they CAN play like their former selves and would still have chance to garner a playoff spot in the AFC. The big question is WILL they turn it on play like Super Bowl champions or flat like roadkill?