No, We Haven't Forgotten About You

Don't put out a Missing Persons APB out on us yet. We really are still around, but unfortunately we have been distracted away from our duties here as most of us are "Working for a Livin'." Slut & I need to start beating up Kringlebert & Oswald to start actually writing something...anything at this point! O'Hoolix is away at a secret mascot training center with a batch of new recruits and has not had access to a computer, so we will excuse him until he gets back. So the rest of you get off your damn asses and do something for once!



Most of the LomHenn crew are fans of Huey Lewis & The News as we all grew up in the 80's and have been to several concerts through the years. (Wheeeeeeeee! - That's for you Kringlebert.) However, I have to say that the picture below is not the kind of duet I ever expected out of Huey.






Yes, that is Chris Berman singing up on stage with Huey during the song "Walking on a Thin Line." I can't imagine why Huey chose to bring him up on stage, but evidently this is not the first time it has happened. Those of us at LomHenn would have preferred "Bad Is Bad" believe it is a more apt song title for Chris Berman to sing because generally we feel anything out of Berman's mouth is pretty bad! And if this is it, then I really will want a new drug and need a couple days off.


A shout out to AwfulAnnouncing.com for jumping on this one.

Maybe we can go "Back in Time" and go to "Plan B" to keep this from happening...I know, enough of the damn HLN references already.

Why Kornheiser Sucks

It's week 4 of the NFL season, yet Tony Kornheiser has somehow gone unscathed on this blog. You know Tony Kornheiser, right? He's the extra guy in the Monday Night Football booth on ESPN, joining Mike Tirico and Ron Jaworski.

It's pretty much understood that anyone who pays attention to such things thinks Kornheiser sucks (who would actually pay attention to such things?). In his two-plus seasons of being the third wheel in the MNF booth, Kornheiser has told unfunny and pointless jokes, been confused about the game he was watching, and has not understood how real play-by-play people get and use background information for the game.

Tonight's Kornheiser moment involves the third example. In the first quarter of the Ravens/Steelers game, Kornheiser tried to interject some background info about Steelers rookie running back Rashard Mendenhall by saying, "I think this is right--Mendenhall is the first running back taken in the first round by the Steelers in something like 19 years."

This statement is correct--I knew without having to look it up. Why did I know? Because as he was finishing the sentence, the ESPN on-screen graphic showed the exact same statistic.

Normally, not much of an issue, except the same thing happened last week during the Chargers/Jets game: after Favre threw his first touchdown pass, Kornheiser threw this in: "I don't want to get this wrong, but I think that was Favre's 95th touchdown pass of less than 5 yards, which is an NFL record." Again, just as he was finishing the statement, the on-screen graphic showed the same stat.

What to make of this? It seems pretty obvious to me that Kornheiser is too lazy to either a) do this research himself, like he's supposed to do, or b) write everything down in a usable form to quickly and reliably access on the air. I think Kornheiser is cherry-picking his stats from a producer or spotter; basically, that person does all the prep work and Kornheiser just picks one stat and copies it. The tip-off is Kornheiser's preface each time he uses something: if he had done the research himself and prepared relevant notes, he'd know the stat was a good one. I mean, for something like $1.8 million a year, preparation would be the least the fucktard could do, yes?

More Kornheiser fun from the same game: late in the first half, the Steelers faithful voiced their displeasure over the poor offensive showing by booing (not just a few boos--a full chorus). Kornheiser's observation: "Those are boos you're hearing, folks." Ah, great analysis there.

At least he's consistent. And by consistent, I mean a piece of poo.


P.S. And if I hear Chris Berman fucking quote "Maggie May" one more time on ESPN during NFL highlights, I will kill something.

Rick Reilly: An Aficionado of Idiocy

Ah, the traditions of Home Run Derby: tape measure home runs, the sight of kids trampling each other while shagging balls in the outfield, and listening to Chris Berman's annoying and incessant "back back back" call 100+ times (does he know it's a home run derby?!?).

Add to those fun traditions a new one: amongst the 7 gazillion announcers/analysts ESPN has at the derby is Rick Reilly, who came to ESPN from Sports Illustrated earlier this year. Reilly has since proven he can be just as stupid on TV as he was in print.

Case in point from tonight's home run derby: a good 20-25 minutes after Josh Hamilton launched 28 bombs in the first round to break Bobby Abreu's record of 24, Reilly decided to add his analysis. "I'm sort of an aficionado of this home run derby thing, and I think that was clearly the greatest home run derby performance ever..." (emphasis mine).

Reilly "thinks" this is the greatest performance ever? And he has to declare himself a sort-of-aficionado in order to make this bold declaration, after nearly a half an hour of everyone else saying the same thing?

Rick, let me help you with this: Hamilton hit 28 homers. The record was 24. Therefore, it was the greatest performance in a home run derby. Is that too hard to understand?

Reilly also went on to rehash Hamilton's story, which was mentioned about 125,000 times (I may be exaggerating), ending with "it's a lousy night to be an atheist."

It's also a lousy night to be someone who watches the Home Run Derby with the sound on.

I Have Seen the 7th Layer of Hell...

...and it's Chris Berman interviewing Joe Morgan on Baseball Tonight.

God, stop playing skee-ball on the boardwalk and call Berman home already. Or at least call him away from the ESPN studios.