Tuesday, March 3, 2009

February Fucktard of the Month Nominations

Greetings from The Bahamas!

We apologize for the lack of posts, but everyone has been busy with writing deadlines, baby diapers, keeping networks running and trying to mold young minds while fighting the urge to bash them with a frying pan. I thought I would take a break from writing to catch up on the site and bring you a new feature - The Fucktard of the Month. A year is just to long to wait and there are way too many fucktards in the sporting world to deal with.

February brought us the latest in the steroids issue, A-Rod's contradictory interviews, a shitty ending to the Daytona 500, Michael Phelps' dope smoking pic, the most awesomest Super Bowl ever (NOT!) and ESPN being ESPN. While there are many topics to choose from this month, the cream of the crop do rise to top or more apt, float to the bottom.

1. Bud Selig

The Major League Baseball Fucktard Extraordinaire, er, Commissioner, Bud Selig, publicly stated, "It's not my fault," regarding the steroids issue in baseball. Yes, the man who turned a blind eye to steroids in the league for so many years wants everyone to know he is not to blame.

Bud, uh, correct me if I am wrong, but are you not the head honcho of the league? Do you not have the power to put the drug testing and penalties in place? And even if the Players' Association tried to balk at the drug testing, could you not have lambasted them in the press?

Nah. You and the owners chose to ignore the issue and enjoy the renewed interest in baseball thanks to the home run chases by McGwire, Sosa and Bonds. You only implemented the drug testing and harsh penalties when Congress started taking an interest and threatening the league.

I do not expect you to come right out and say, "Yes, we tried ignoring the issue since we were making money hand over fist and we are at fault for not taking care of the issue sooner." However, we fans are not complete idiots. Mostly idiots, maybe, but not complete idiots. You cannot say you had no idea of the steroids use in the league and expect us to believe it.

Therefore, Bud, you are awarded a nomination as Fucktard of the Month.

2. Alex Rodriguez

The man, the myth, the legendary idiot. Sports Illustrated was able to determine that A-Rod was one of 104 Major League players who tested positive for steroids in 2003, prior to the League instituting the new drug policy. A-Rod did do what most other players who tested positive had not and admitted to taking steroids from 2001-2003. However, in two separate interviews with Peter Gammons and upon arrival at Spring Training, he gave conflicting answers, suddenly had a cousin who was giving him the steroids, failed at the fake cry and left everyone with more questions than answers.

Not that the steroid problem was ever out of the spotlight in baseball, as baseball's highest paid player and one of its biggest stars, he really started a fire storm around the performance enhancing drugs (PEDs). Baseball did not need another black eye on the PED problem, but in this case it got sucker punched. Bud Selig did not do himself any favors as noted above.

A-Rod has the best chance to break Barry Bonds' home run record among the active players within range. People already wanted to have an asterisk by Bonds' name in the record book, now nearly any player from the "Steroid Era" will be suspect for having taken PEDs.

Way to go, A-Hole, I mean, A-Rod!

3. ESPN

Lastly, I nominate ESPN. Why? Because I get more and more frustrated at the #1 network in sports. Not showing sporting events in HD, shitty announcers, shitty anchors, shitty radio personalities, unconfirmed breaking stories that turn out to be false, they may #1, but lately they're acting more like #2, if you know what I mean.

I do not know if they feel this is what the public wants or if they are so clueless they think they can dictate what we want. ESPN's revenues are falling due to a decline in viewership. No shit? Well, yes it is shit and that is why people are not watching. Hello?!? Until ESPN gets a clue, we will continue to be force-fed the drivel they think is sports entertainment.

I'll also toss out a nice Honorable Mention to Michael Phelps for his bong-headed display of getting his picture taken while smoking dope. Idiot...oh, yes! Fucktard...not really.

So your choices for February are Bud Selig, Alex Rodriguez and ESPN. You can vote by commenting or by sending an email to any of us listed on the right-hand side of the page. Remember, vote early and, if you are from Chicago, vote often.

Now back to some Cabo Wabo and some sunning with the ladies. Ciao!

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2 Comments:

Blogger Slut Bunwalla said...

My vote: Bud Selig for February FotM.

Not much of a surprise, since I did do the post about him and the steroids issue. While ESPN and A-Rod are worthy, neither has the true fucktard nature that baseball's imperious leader has repeatedly displayed.

With A-Rod, at least he did come clean and not pull a Roger Clemens. ESPN is just...crappy.

Selig FTW.

March 9, 2009 at 12:49 PM  
Blogger Zinglebert Bembledack said...

I could choose A-Rod for the block, since I wrote about him. But let's face it, Bud Selig IS a fucktard, so how can you not vote him for FotM!

Bud, for all you do, this FotM's for you!

March 9, 2009 at 4:45 PM  

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