Thursday, January 8, 2009

And the Winner Is...

Cue the music...cue the lights...cue the dog and pony show!

Welcome everyone to the Inaugural 2008 Fucktard of the Year Awards! Our first year (OK, seven months) have hopefully brought you some laughs, some deep cognitive thoughts and some fuck the hecks(?). I know that we have enjoyed the experience and look forward to entertaining you during 2009 and hopefully beyond. What's even more exciting is this is our 100th post on!

So before we try and get all emotional, let's get down to business and announce the winners of the 2008 Fucktard of the Year Awards.

We thank everyone who cast their votes for the FotY. As we mentioned previously, there were many worthy fucktardy candidates for this prestigious award, but in the end, it was just a two horse, or more accurately, a two horse's ass race between Indy's local hack Bob Kravitz and national suck-ass extraordinaire Tony Kornheiser.

After the votes were tabulated, reviewed for any dangling chads and we scrubbed the data, we honestly had a least before my vote.

So, without further ado, our 2008 Fucktard of the Year winner is...

Tony Kornheiser!

Yes, congratulations to Tony K, you suck ass more than any other sports entity in the entire known universe! Anything the you write or that comes out of your mouth just further solidifies you as a Fucktard Extraordinaire. You status as a fucktard will be forever ingrained as the inaugural winner of this just award. Without fucktards like you, this site would not be here.

I'm sure that Bob Kravitz will be heartbroken that he did not win this award. My initial instinct was to vote for Bobbo because of his numerous infractions and postings here. I understand he is here to spark controversies and conversations and to sell newspapers. Many of his opinions are valid and have merit. But that is where reality seems to stop for him. I have never seen a lazier journalist in my life. He rarely seems to lift a phone to get additional details for a column or even spend two minutes to do a couple of Internet searches to provide a shread of valid evidence to back up his reasoning. One time he nearly plagiarized one of his fellow columnists by pulling only the information he wanted from another story, nearly word for word!

But then there was Tony Kornheiser. Tony, Tony, Tony...I can't even begin to list or describe how much suckage there is to you. We are stuck dealing with you for 16 weeks of Monday Night Football and on ESPN's PTI. The man is forever behind on his commentary and his "observations" are inaccurate, incorrect and/or absurd. Again, I'm not sure if this is part of a grand scheme to get people interested in the broadcast, but the man just does not belong in the booth. I wish I had recorded the MNF last year in which Slut and Zinglebert were shouting, "Kornheiser sucks!" below the MNF booth. I would have loved to here if any of that made it over the airwaves. Tony may not have been posted on as much as Bob Kravitz, but you have to agree that Kornheiser does suck more.

So in the end, I had to cast my vote for Tony Kornheiser. His SCuZ numbers were much higher than Kravitz's and his high school pic was just downright scary! Congratulations you assbag fucktard!

Bob Kravitz, however, does not go home empty-handed. Bob may have come in second place for the coveted FotY, but we have a few more awards to dish out from

Most Posted Fucktard - Bob Kravitz - Yes, Bob led the way with 19 posts on LomHenn, far out distancing the runner-ups Murray Chass and Tony Kornheiser with four each.

Most Used Label - Bob Kravitz - Once again Bob was a popular candidate on our site. Why? Honestly, since he is our local sports columnist we see his stuff more often than some of the national or other city's columnists. But his stuff is typical atrocious and ends up as one of our posts. 'Really long post' was runner up with 16 posts. (Slut and Zinglebert do like their long posts.)

We may have few more awards to pass out later and I'll let the rest of the gang dish out those awards as they see fit.

Thanks, gang, for helping to keep the site going. I may not contribute much, but I do enjoy the reading while jetting around.

Thanks to those of you who voted, your votes were greatly appreciated.

Thank you to our readers, however few or many of you there are. We hope that you have enjoyed reading our site as much as we do. We welcome any emails telling us if you enjoy or hate the site or if you run across an article or post that we should take an interest in.

Wow, 100 posts! I wasn't sure if we would really post ten times in the beginning, but here we are at 100. Our 2009 goal is to post at least five times a week, so this is a challenge to everyone to see if we can actually maintain that.

Once again, congrats to our 2008 Fucktard of the Year winner, Tony Kornheiser! Something tells me you may be an annual front-runner for this award for many years to come.

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