Friday, January 2, 2009

2008 Fucktard of the Year Nominations

Welcome everyone to the inaugural Fucktard of the Year nominations for 2008. We here at Lom Henn have blasted and lambasted several worthy candidates this year and now it is time for us to pick that person, group, team, etc. who most deserves the distinction of becoming the first Fucktard of the Year.

All of us at Lom Henn will have a say in the voting and I will make the final call on the ultimate winner. For this year, we will just have a straight vote for the most worthy nominee. Perhaps next year we might try a bracket system to add a bit of flavor. So on to our nominees...

1. Bob Kravitz

Our first nominee and front-runner is our favorite hack, Bob Kravitz of the Indianapolis Star. Bob was the object of our first post and leads with the most entries for 2008. Bob has an atrocious writing style and has a flair for stating the obvious, backing up his opinion with hot air and writing as many words as possible without actually doing any research on a topic.

I could go on hours about how I feel about Bob, but that is not why we are here. Suffice it to say that we do not think much of his writing or now, thanks to WFNI, co-hosting a sports talk show. Now he gets to annoy us even more!

2008 Highlights

2. Tony Kornheiser

I don't think any of us can write exactly how much we think Tony Kornheiser sucks. Slut and Zinglebert even went to the upper deck below the announcing booth during a MNF game last year and shouted, "Kornheiser sucks!" repeatedly. Security was not called because everyone agreed that the statement was true. Pretty much anything out of this man's mouth is worthless crap and the NFL nation is unfortunately forced to put up with it. At this point, a blind, deaf mute would be more knowledgable and literate commentator than Kornheiser.

2008 Highlights

3. ESPN NFL Analysts

Chris Berman, Tom Jackson, Trent Dilfer and John Saunders have been NFL football players and/or analysts for many, many years. So why is it that the do not seem to have a clue about the sport? They either do not know what they are talking about or they are spouting off some drivel that the other talking heads follow along. Berman has gone from likable to 'I will turn you off automatically' status. The only reason many of us can put up with him and the others is so that they can end up here.

2008 Highlights

4. Bowl Championship Series (BCS)

There is a split at Lom Henn between those who want a college playoff and those who do not. However, we all agree that the BCS does not work as it is currently structured. There is too much emphasis on the "human" polls and teams that lose early in the season have too big of an advantage versus teams that lose late. It also penalizes teams like Ball State (before they lost to Buffalo in the MAC Championship) if another non-BCS team (Utah) goes undefeated. Meanwhile, slightly above average teams like Cincinnati and Boston College get to go to a BCS Bowl game because they were able to "win" their conference championships. Then you have the issues of which two teams get selected for the championship game. The list of problems can go on and on and on and on and...

Yes, we know that there will probably never be a perfect solution for college football and, yes, we know that the BCS is better than the before the BCS started. Yet, it is still a piece of shit and smells worse than one of Hildegard Bembledack's diapers.

2008 Highlights
College Football Potpourri

And lastly we have...

5. Murray Chass

There is debate as to whether Murray Chass' website is actually written by Murray Chass or by someone else. Regardless, it is a testament to why there are editors at newspapers and what happens at newspapers when the editors are either asleep or drunk in their offices. We have not picked on Murray lately, but I think that will change after talking to Slut and Zinglebert this week. Murray is obviously a Red Sox fan and will go to almost any extreme to make sure that he can fit "Boston Red Sox" into every post, regardless if the article has even a remote connection with them. Not to mention that he has great difficulty in getting to the point and getting that point across. It sometimes barely passes for English...kind of like this site sometimes.

2008 Highlights

There you go, folks, the 2008 Fucktard of the Year Nominees. I will also allow write-in candidates for this year in case I missed someone I should not have. You can either email me your selection(s) and why or you can post them on the site. The winner will be announced on Wednesday, January 7th.

Bob Kravitz is probably the Vegas odds favorite at the moment, but there are some definite dark horses in the mix. Good luck, I think, to all of our nominees and our voters here at Lom Henn. I look forward to seeing all of the responses.

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Blogger Henn Mother said...

Ah, the choices! Lom, you've out done yourself with your selection of this year's detrius.

However, my vote is with Tony Kornheiser. Is it his bad comb over? The fact that is middle name is Irwin? Or just the simple fact that he is a hot air fucktard?

I honestly believe it's because Kornheiser does suck...and he ruins my YMCA workouts by showing his face during PTI. Give it up, Tony! Face it, you're just a fucktard!

January 3, 2009 at 1:08 AM  
Blogger Kringlebert Fishtybuns said...

Kravitz would ALWAYS be my first choice! But can get a shout out for whoever the genious was who put Matt Millen on the Playoff telecast as an analyst? What a dumbass.....both...sheeesh!

If you needed someone who could talk about being a loser, I was available. I'd bet I would have been a little more interesting. OK at least funnier!

January 7, 2009 at 8:50 AM  
Blogger Slut Bunwalla said...

Ah, all are worthy choices for the coveted Fucktard of the Year. My choice boils down to Bob Kravitz vs. Tony Kornheiser.

Both have Zen-like levels of suckage and tremendous fucktard tendencies. But, since I have to pick one, my vote is for Tony Kornheiser. Although Kravitz is also a Jedi Master Fucktard, his drivel is limited to a local newspaper and radio station. And, admittedly, there are days where he isn't as bad as others.

Kornheiser, on the other hand, always sucks. For 16 weeks a season on Monday nights, we have to listen to his alleged "commentary" or "observations" about the game, though it's evident he knows nothing about football.

Kornheiser for the win.

January 7, 2009 at 3:55 PM  
Blogger Zinglebert Bembledack said...

Like Slut, it really boils down to Kravitz vs. Kornheiser. The other nominees are all worthy, but they cannot compare to the fucktards that are Kravitz and Kornheiser.

There currently is no word that can encompass the amount of suckage that is Tony Kornheiser. We are forced to put up with Tony on MNF and other ESPN twaddle and the sad part is he even admits he sucks. So, why the fuck do they keep putting him on television?!?

Bob Kravitz...where do I begin? Let's see, ummm, hack extraordinaire, commander of drivel, lazy SOB, can form an opinion but cannot back up said opinion with any substantial evidence, etc., etc. Bob may only be local, but since we really don't have another local outlet for newspaper media, we're stuck with him. Plus, he is now a co-host over the airwaves on one of the most powerful AM stations around.

It is almost a coin toss between the two for FotY, almost. But my vote goes to Bob Kravitz because he has been the most offensive for 2008.

January 7, 2009 at 6:02 PM  

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