Sports Witticisms Gone Awry

I listen to a lot of sports and sports talk radio, most of it of the local variety, but most stations have the national affiliate sports updates as well as the local updates. I can understand that networks may want to make the updates more lively than just giving scores, news and playing soundbites. When I listen to update, I am looking for the scores and other news tidbits in the one-two minutes they have to fill me in. I do not listen to hear bad puns or bad analogies.

While listening to the Westwood One broadcast of the Dallas-Green Bay game last night on the way back from the Cubs final home game of the season, Slut and I were presented with the following during an sports update by Tommy Tighe of the Westwood One Network:

"Thinking about their game in shark-infested waters, the Dolphins played with a porpoise."

Had I been driving, I would have gone of the road. Slut nearly did. We were staring in disbelief at what we just heard.

I can just picture Tommy Tighe in his radio booth, salivating over his little pun just waiting to broadcast it worldwide.

Unfortunately, it was a shitty pun with a shitty witticism.

If the Dolphins were playing a team with "Sharks" in their name or even a team remotely related to water or something living in the water, then the first part could be relevant or even funny. But the Dolphins were playing the Patriots. To me, that is fairly far removed from anything relating to water.

The "Dolphins played with a porpoise" just plain sucks. I'm sure someone, somewhere may have found that funny. I hope most of us shouted at the radio at what a fucktardish statement that was.

If you want to try and be funny, become a comedian. If you want to be a broadcaster, then broadcast the sports, dammit!