Tuesday, June 24, 2008

My What an Interesting Smell You've Discovered!

I'm sure that Mets fans are pleased to hear that interim manager Jerry Manuel thinks they are the equivalent of manure or compost or all the other stinky shit that makes things grow, i.e. fertilizer. Manuel ripped Mets fans for booing reliever Aaron Heilman after turning in another one of his outstanding performances at Shea Stadium where he is 0-2 with an enormous ERA of 6.17.

"It's very, very fertile ground for growth in Shea Stadium. It's fertile ground for a team's growth and development. Sometimes, fertile ground has fertilizer."

Shitty fans for a shitty team. What's that smell? It's 25,000 piles of crap filling the seats booing a turd of a reliever. Instead of Shea Stadium we can have Shat Stadium! Instead of Scotts® Turf Builder, we can have Mets Turd Builder - Bringing you shitty teams since 1962.

Heilman overall is a lousy 0-3 with a 5.17 ERA. Considering he is even worse at home, no wonder the fans are booing him. The Mets and their fans had high hopes going into this season. Delgado is injured and struggling. Beltran is worse. Reyes - well see below. Santana hasn't won since June 1st. The dung heap NY fans are restless and may have to face the fact that their season may soon be flushed down the toilet.

"Fertilizer is a good thing," Manuel said before the Mets' afternoon contest against the Rockies. "It's a good thing. You get the greatest results - get the most beautiful plants - when you put it in that type of fertile soil. That's what we have the opportunity to do."

Jerry - no amount of backtracking or flowery talk is going to work at this point. Calling your fans a steaming pile of cow manure is not an endearment, except for possibly in Texas.

Manuel has been the interim manager for less than a week and he is already trying to put himself on par with the Ozzie Guillen whose statements, opinions and tantrums and becoming somewhat legendary. Just look at these tasty tidbits...

Shortstop Jose Reyes was the target of Manuel's first colorful outbursts this week. After Reyes threw a helmet-throwing tantrum last Tuesday night in Manuel's debut when Manuel pulled him in the first inning with a tight hamstring, Manuel jokingly threatened to knife Reyes if it happened again.

"I told him the next time he does that, I'm going to get my blade out and cut him right on the field," Manuel said. "I'm a gangster."

Manuel: "I'm a gangster. I've seen all of the Godfather movies and every episode of The Sopranos. Don't fuck with me or you'll swim with the fishes." Nothing motivates me more than knowing that the next time I feel hurt, my manager will gut me like a fish.

This ranks right up there with Brown's owner Bill Veeck and his statement to little man Eddie Gaedel before his infamous at bat. Veeck told Eddie that he had a shooter up on the roof of Sportsman Park and if he swung at any pitch, he would be shot.

Manuel also invoked Bill Parcells' famous reference to Terry Glenn as "she" instead of "he" by doing the same thing to describe Reyes for his on-field fit.

"She acted up with me, and she had a day off," Manuel said of Reyes.

Reyes is such a BITCH!!!! It's that time of the month, the bloating, the cramps and we were out of tampons, so I had to give Reyes the day off.

I know that Manuel was the AL Manager of the Year in 2000 with the White Sox, but my hunch is that the "interim" tag with stick with him this year and he'll follow Randolph out the door. Minaya must have been drinking from the same water cooler as ex-Knicks boss Isiah Thomas. He has stocked his team with over-priced, stars on the decline or mediocre players. The team was one win from the World Series in 2006, executed one of baseballs' biggest chokes last year and are now 37-38 and four games out of first. I just don't think that the Mets have a team that can turn it around and make a run for the playoffs. They're either hurt, struggling and/or just plain shitty. Minaya will be quick to fire Manuel at the end of the season unless the Mets can grow another miracle with all the fertilizer in the stands. Otherwise, the shit will hit fan.

I'd better end this entry before it gets any shittier.

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Blogger Lom Henn said...

"It's still shitty."

July 6, 2008 at 3:15 AM  

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